The Beauty in Therapy
by Edward Is My Lullaby
Summary: When Charlie convinces her to go, therapy is the last thing Bella Swan wants to do. She doesn't want to think about her difficult past, let alone talk about it to a complete stranger. But what about her therapist makes her want to do exactly that?
1. Chapter 1:Wanting to Leave it Behind

**DISCLAIMER: STEPHENIE MEYER OWNS ALL THINGS TWILIGHT!**

**The Beauty in Therapy, summary: When Charlie convinces her to go, therapy is the last thing Bella Swan wants to do. She doesn't want to think about her difficult past, let alone talk about it to a complete stranger. But what about her therapist makes her want to do exactly that?**

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><p>Chapter 1:Wanting to Leave it Behind<p>

**B.P.O.V**

I could hear the soft patter on the roof as I lay in bed, tears running softly down my face. My emotions seemed to match the weather perfectly.

The emotional pain and guilt was enough to make my body go numb, but not numb enough to take the pain away. It was more like it numbed just my body. It took away the need to move anywhere, to get up and do something rather than just lay here. So all I could do was let the feelings and memories flow through me.

I wanted to go back and remember the good times I had throughout my twenty years of life. But I just couldn't seem to remember any of them. Everything that had happened the past two years was as clear as stone. I could remember everything I felt in every memory. Everything I thought as the reality of it all hit me. The last thing I wanted to remember.

The pain you seemed to get used too. The painful throbbing in your chest, like you couldn't breathe as properly as you should. That all seemed to become part of you after a while. I think I was finally strong enough to deal with that.

The guilt for me was the worst. You couldn't help what you felt. There wasn't a switch for you to turn off or on when you pleased. Just to get rid of all the thoughts and memories that went along with it. The exact thing I wished did exist, if only just for a day.

I looked over at my bedside table and looked at my clock, realizing that it was already three o'clock in the morning. I sighed and wiped away my tears, turning on my side and positioning myself into a comfortable ball. My knees tucked in and my arms wrapped around my chest and stomach.

I traced patterns on my wall as I waited for sleep to come. I had to attend school in the morning and I would function well enough if I at least got five hours of sleep. Otherwise, I was literally a walking zombie.

I didn't dare close my eyes in fear that everything would play out in my head like it always did. I only did when the sleep was too overwhelming and I couldn't keep my eyes open for another second. From there, I just hoped the hours passed by quick, because the memory of it all also turned into a nightmare.

"Dad?" I called as I closed the house door behind me. I hadn't seen my dad for about a week so I thought it would be a good idea if I stopped by before school. He always worried if he didn't see me for long periods of time. Not that I blamed him…

"Bella?" he called back, surprised. I heard the scraping of a chair against the wooden floor and guessed he was probably in the kitchen having breakfast, a cup of coffee in one hand like he did every morning. I smiled at the memory and walked in further to the living room.

I stared at his chest as I walked toward him, noting that he was already in his police uniform, his _chief of police_ badge placed nicely on his shirt pocket, his name written nicely underneath that.

"How have you been?" he asked, pulling me in for a hug. I hugged him back tightly and sighed.

I shrugged. "Good. School's been…time consuming so that's kept me busy." I filled him in as we walked back into the kitchen. I scrunched my nose up as I smelt something burning, or burnt I should say. I looked over at a pan on the stove and noticed a completely black pancake in it.

Charlie caught me looking and gave a light chuckle. "I tried my hand at cooking this morning and thought it wouldn't be so hard to make those delicious pancakes you used to make for me. Little did I know that you're not supposed to leave it on one side to cook." He laughed again.

I gave a laugh of my own. Weak and small and not at all how I wanted it to sound.

I heard him sigh loudly and turned to see him running a face over his face. I looked away again and instead examined the kitchen. It looked like it could use a little cleaning so I'm sure I could come by after school and wash it down a bit. It would keep me busy for a while…

"Are you hungry? There's some strawberry Pop Tarts in the cupboard if you want one." He suggested.

"Umm no thanks. I ate some breakfast in the morning." I lied. I knew he would be upset if I had said the truth, but food just didn't sound appetizing right now.

"Bella." Charlie said sternly. He sounded tired and worried, the exact opposite of what I wanted my dad to sound like.

I turned my head toward him and slowly lifted my eyes to meet his. Even in his eyes I could see the worry and stress that I knew was my fault. Yet that couldn't seem to be enough to make my own pain go away.

"When was the last time you had any sleep, or ate something?" he said.

I shook my head and closed my eyes. "Dad, I sleep and eat every day-"

"When was the last time you had at least _nine_ hours of sleep? Not just a couple hours here and there to give you at least some energy the next morning."

I was well aware of the bruise-like bags under my eyes, but I didn't know they were that noticeable. Although, with my pale skin, I'm sure you could see them very clearly.

I only looked down and stayed quiet. Like a child being chastised, which I guess was exactly what was happening. There was no use in trying to lie again. I'm sure he would see through me very quickly.

"You're much thinner than I remember you every being. You don't even go out with anyone anymore."

I had lost a couple pounds the past few months, but it wasn't anything to be worried about! And I didn't have time to go out with anyone. Between working and school my day was just too busy.

I had wanted to say all this out loud, to Charlie. But I knew that making excuses wasn't going to work anymore. It may have worked before but now, it just sounded pathetic and something he's heard one too many times.

"This has to stop Bella. I can't bare to see you like this anymore. It's been almost two years, and you're still in the same condition as the day we found out. She wouldn't want you to be living like this Bells." He pleaded.

Tears gathered in my eyes and I swallowed hard. "I really am trying dad. It's just hard to think about even trying to be happy without her here. If I wouldn't have been so stubborn she-"

"She wouldn't want you to live like this Isabella," He repeated again, a little scornfully. "You barely eat anything. I'm sure you don't sleep at all by the way your face looks. You don't do anything other than go to school and go back home. You don't smile as much as you used to. You don't do the things you used to love anymore. You're just, not yourself. I just…I don't know what to do anymore." He said exasperatedly.

At this I grew a little angry. I knew he was dealing with his own sadness, in his own way. But I just didn't know how to take all this yet! Just because it had been a long time didn't mean everything was going to get better!

"I'm trying the best I can Charlie! But this isn't going to go away as quickly as it happened. I just…need some time to…" I trailed off, not knowing what I needed time for exactly.

"I set up an appointment for you with a therapist." he said suddenly.

I opened my mouth to answer but all I could do was stare.

"Dr. Cullen knows him and recommended him to me." He finished off.

I didn't know what was more embarrassing, the fact that Charlie actually told him the therapist was for me, or that he was actually making me go to one.

"Dr. Culllen recommended him?" I asked again slowly.

My dad nodded and sat down at the kitchen table. "And I think you should go."

I shook my head stubbornly and let out a dry laugh. "I am not going to a therapist," I stated. "There's nothing wrong with me dad. I'm just dealing with this a little differently then you are."

"I don't call locking yourself up with everything bottled up inside you dealing with it," He said a little angrily. He sighed again and I wiped away a tear. "Bella, just please do this for me. Just one time and if you don't see it going anywhere then you can stop."

I sniffed and bit my lip. I really didn't want to do it. What was worse than having to talk about your problems and what you were feeling to a complete stranger? It just wasn't something I wanted to do.

But then I looked up at my dad's face. He looked tired too. Not in the literal way but more like tired of seeing me act this way. He wanted me to be happy, so the least I could do to bring _him_ some happiness is go along with this.

"Ok. I'll go." I agreed.

He gave out a relieved laugh and walked over to me. He gave me a hug and sighed. "But I'm not making any promises of going back after the first time." I warned.

He pulled back and smiled. "That's fine. I'm just glad you agreed to do it once. You get your stubbornness from me you know?" He joked.

I laughed again, a little more sincerely this time. "I know."

He chuckled and walked towards the front door, getting ready to go to work. I only watched as he moved around the house, lost in my own thoughts.

My dad was right; I wanted to try and leave all the sad memories behind. It was a good thing for me to try and be happy, to try and be how I used to be.

I grimaced as I had a new thought: Just why did I have to do it in therapy?

**E.P.O.V**

"Edward?" Carlisle called as he entered the kitchen.

I grabbed the carton of orange juice I was looking for and walked over to the island.

"Yes?" I asked as I reached for a glass.

"I was talking to Mr. Hawkins and I was telling him about a possible new client that he might have. And he actually told me if you were interested in taking this one."

I looked up quickly, in shock. "But I can't do that. I'm no where near finishing school and I don't have a degree." I was only in my third year of psychology school and I was sure that I couldn't do something like this. But what an experience it would be to actually have a chance like this.

"I mentioned that to him, but he thinks this new client would be much more comfortable with you. She's around your age and she's reluctant to go, so I'm sure having someone like you would make her much more comfortable."

"But wouldn't she be mad about the fact that I don't have a degree?" I asked once again. I'd never heard of something like this happening so I was worried about what she would think. I really wanted to give it a try though.

"Well we can see at the first meeting. And if she doesn't feel comfortable or vice versa, Mr. Hawkins can take over."

I nodded. "Do you think I should take it?" I asked my uncle, not exactly sure if it was the best decision. Mr. Hawkins was a great teacher to me. Other than the classes I would take at school, he would make sure I understood all that I had learned. He was like a mentor and if he was suggesting this, it was because he believed I could this.

"It's a great opportunity Edward. If you think you can do it and it's something you think will benefit you, then I think you should."

I only nodded again and smiled. "I think I'll do it. And if I do feel like I can't then I'll tell him and I'm sure he'll take over."

Carlisle smiled and grabbed his own glass of orange juice. "I'm glad you are." He was about to leave back into the living room when I thought of a question.

"Carlisle wait. Do you know her name?" I asked, curious. This was Forks, Washington. Maybe I had seen her before.

"Isabella Swan." He replied simply, going back to watch TV.

"Isabella." I repeated quietly to myself. Already the name seemed very interesting to me.

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><p><strong>AN: Soo I had this idea while I was sleeping. Can't exactly tell you what it was because then it'll ruin the whole story, but I decided to give it a shot! I know that you can't really be a psychologist without a degree but it will be allowed in this story! Haha! So for those of you who read it, hit or miss?**

**-Edward Is My Lullaby**


	2. Chapter 2:Therapy at it's Best

Chapter 2:Therapy sucks, well, kinda.

Waking up in the morning was going to be the easiest part of my day, it always was. Going through my normal boring routine wasn't a bother. I could go through it easily without having to think so hard about it.

I grabbed my clothes for the day, which usually consisted of a t-shirt and a pair of sweat pants, and my toiletries and headed to the bathroom. There, I would take a quick shower and get dressed. Breakfast I usually skipped so I grabbed my bag and everything else I needed and headed out the door.

I sighed as I stepped out of my apartment building, stopping on the steps to observe everything outside. This was usually the hard part of the day, but when wasn't it? You never knew what was going to happen; there was no way to plan your day perfectly. Either something went wrong or something was added without even an inkling of notion. If you thought about, it was just like picking out a chocolate from a candy box. You never knew what you were going to get…

I had known that for a long time I suppose, but when something unknown suddenly happens to you, you suddenly realize it even more.

Today, for example, I had an appointment with the therapist Charlie had suggested to me. I knew that I was going, but I had no idea how it was going to turn out or what in the hell he was going to say to me. It was like picking out a chocolate, but getting one you didn't exactly prefer.

"Hey Bella." Angela greeted me as I walked into the bookstore. I unlocked my own personal locker and grabbed my nametag.

"Hey Ang." I greeted politely, giving her a small smile.

"Did you finish your paper for class today?" She asked, trying to make conversation like she always did. Gladly, I didn't really mind. She didn't ever say it in an awkward kind of way; she always said it so sincerely and sweetly. I just couldn't help but answer with a full answer each time.

I shook my head and grimaced slightly. "Actually I'm not going. My dad made some…special plans for me today, so I'm not going to class."

She laughed. "You sound so enthusiastic about it."

"Believe me, you wouldn't be either if you knew where I was going." I giggled back. Angela was never one to pry, so I knew I didn't have to worry about her asking me my plans, another thing that I loved so much about her. She was one of the people that I regretted pushing away from my life. The worst thing was I knew I could fix it so easily. But I couldn't bring myself to open any of those doors yet. I just wasn't ready.

"Well if you'd like, I could turn it in for you so you don't have to go later on. And I can make copies of my notes for you. That way you won't be behind." She suggested nicely, pushing her glasses back in place and running her hand through her hair. Something I had grown to know she did when she was unsure or nervous about something. Maybe I had severed our relationship more than I thought.

"That would be great Angela, thank you. I really do appreciate it." I said as sincerely as I could. I gave her another smile and walked to the back to start my work.

I had been working at the _So Old, Yet, So New_ bookstore for about two years now. It was a small, old-fashioned bookstore. Very homey and cozy; a place where you'd want to sit and just read a good book.

You could find anything you wanted too. Whether it was from today's popular authors or, what I loved most about it, books that were written years and decades before. The name of the store told it all, it was such an old book but felt so new because it was your first time reading it or even hearing about it. It was an immaculate mix of everything, and me being a book lover found it absolutely perfect.

The owner's of the place where a very, sweet elderly couple, who had owned the store since they were younger. The reason they had some many variety of books around the store.

They paid me and Angela way too much for just five hours of work, so I told them how much I appreciated it every chance I had. They had basically taken me in my senior year of high school, when I decided I wanted to start saving money for college and to get my own apartment. I had them to thank for that. They were very understandable as I was going through my…unhappy stage. They never really brought anything up and I was grateful for that too.

On slow days, like today, my job was usually to go through the aisles and find books that had been misplaced and not in the right shelf. I would put them on my cart and then when I was finished, would put them back were they belonged. It wasn't a very hard job, and I knew this store like the back of my palm so I didn't have to think so hard about what went where. Usually, I just found myself in my own thoughts, which sometimes wasn't the best thing.

"Bella." Angela called for me, the signal that we were finally getting customers in. It would usually start to fill up around ten, two hours into my shift. From there, I would help Angela at the register or help someone who needed help finding a book. Not hard at all…

The hard part was mostly trying to keep a smile on my face. I actually enjoyed the peace and quiet in the morning, and it wasn't that I didn't like helping out customers. It was just hard to keep up a fake happy façade with everything that I had to do. And I wasn't a very good liar.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but can you help me find a book I'm looking for?" a girl, about fifteen years old asked as I finished ringing someone up.

I smiled, "Of course. Which one is it?"

"Pride and Prejudice? I'm not sure if you guys have it but…"

I nodded and sighed. "Yes we do. Just follow me." I led her to the section where I knew all the classic books were. I scanned the shelf for a couple seconds and smiled slightly when I found it. "Here we go. I think there are different versions on the same shelf. You're welcome to browse through them if you'd like."

She smiled politely and nodded. "Thank you for your help."

I only nodded and turned back to the front, breathing in a deep sigh and closing my eyes as I let it out.

I glanced at the clock and moaned lightly when I realized my shift was almost over. Time passed by so fast when, for once, I wanted it to pass by slow. The more time I got to spend here rather than a therapist office the better. But now my time was up and I needed to go.

"Ang, I'm gonna go now. I don't want to be late so, are you ok here?" I asked, already heading to the back so I could get my things out of my locker.

"Ya I'm fine. There aren't too many people and I'm sure Erica will be here soon to fill in your spot. Just don't forget to leave your paper in my locker so I can turn it in."

"No I won't." I grabbed my bag out and closed it, moving to Angela's locker so I could leave my report in there. I turned the dial slowly, remembering her combo clearly but not wanting to mess it up. I always tended to do that.

"Thanks again!" I said, as I walked out.

She yelled out her goodbye and wished me luck on whatever I was going to do. I looked back and gave her a smile, which turned into a grimace as I got into my old red Chevy truck.

"Are you here yet?" I grumbled into my phone as I sat in my car outside the building I was dreading to go in.

My dad gave an amused chuckle. "Yes Isabella Marie, I am. I told you I would be here earlier than you."

I rolled my eyes at my full name and climbed out of the car. "Yes I know, but I'm just making sure. I'm here so I'll see you in a bit."

"Ok." He said simply. My dad had been really supportive and took the day off from work so he could come with me. He thought it was his responsibility because he was the one who was making me do this. And to be honest, I didn't really mind.

"Hey Bells," Charlie stood and walked over to give me a hug. "You look very nervous." He pointed out when he pulled back. I nodded my head, not trying to deny it. "You just need to inform the receptionist that you're here and then they'll call you up for you're appointment." He said.

I nodded wordlessly again and walked to the front desk, where a girl around my age sat. She was very pretty with her jet-black hair and piercing blue eyes. But at the same time she looked mean and just bored out of her mind. "May I help you?" she asked a bit rudely, a fake smile placed on her face. I raised my eyebrows slightly and looked at her directly. Geez, I hope I didn't sound like that to any of the customers back at the bookstore.

"I'm just here to confirm my appointment with…" I trailed off, remembering I didn't even know who I was even going to talk to for the next hour. I turned back to look at my dad. "Dad, what's the doctor's name."

"Mr. Hawkins." he replied.

I turned back to the girl and repeated his name. She only sighed and turned to the computer. "Name?" She asked simply, typing away.

"Isabella Swan."

She nodded and turned back to look at me. "Yes. Your appointment is in five minutes, so if you'll just have a seat and wait for him that'll be great."

"Ok thank you." I replied as I turned to sit back down.

I moved my leg up and down impatiently, running my hand through my hair and biting my lip in nervousness. I just wanted to get this over with.

"Bella calm down. This isn't as bad as it seems." Charlie reassured me. This felt like the longest five minutes of my life.

"Right." I mumbled.

Just then the door swung open and in walked in a man, who seemed like he was in a hurry. He walked quickly past us and went straight to the front. I only got a clear view when he stopped at the desk.

The first thing I noticed where his beautiful green eyes. They were the most unique shade of green I had ever seen and I couldn't stop staring.

When I did get my eyes to move from his, I couldn't help but smile. He was a really handsome guy, everything about him I noticed, was perfect. Absolutely flawless…

I snapped out of my daze when I heard someone laughing, and realized I was looking at someone I didn't even know. My smile turned back into my normal worried, frown and I looked at the source from where the laughter came from.

The girl at the front had straightened up, and was now twirling her hair in between her fingers as she batted her eyelashes up at him. She gave him a flirtatious smile and giggled lightly as he said something else to her. She responded something back and gave a little wave as he turned to leave.

"Thanks a lot Ivy!" he shouted out to her as he disappeared behind the door.

"Anytime!" She yelled back. She closed her eyes and breathed in a deep breath, a huge smile on her face. She opened her eyes and placed her hand under her chin, a dreamy look in her eyes as she looked at the computer.

I rolled my own eyes and went back to looking at the floor, waiting for them to call my name.

"Isabella?" Ivy called a couple minutes later. I looked up and smiled, grabbing my bag as I stood up. I looked at my dad and gave him a worried look.

"It'll be fine Bells. And I promise you don't have to do this again if you don't like it." he said.

"Ok, thank you dad." I said, giving him a hug before he left.

"Just walk behind the door and walk straight. It's the first door on your left," She instructed, without even looking up at me. I mumbled a thank you and walked slowly to the door. "Oh and Mr. Hawkins wasn't able to make it to your appointment today, so Mr. Cullen will be with you shortly."

I nodded again, annoyed that this information wasn't given to me before coming here. It just made me much more nervous then I already was.

I followed Ivy's instructions and walked slowly as I neared the room I was going to be in for an hour. Talking about my problems.

I let out a shaky sigh as I saw the door propped open. I walked in, unsure and out of place, only letting out the breath I had been holding when I realized the room was empty. I relaxed a bit, walking in completely and studying the room.

It wasn't very big, but instead small. There was a desk on the left of the room, piled with what I assumed was paperwork. The walls were painted an unlikely shade of green. It was bright and not at all a color I found relaxing.

On the left was a medium-sized couch. The fabric a floral print that looked old and dirty. In front of it was a chair, which I guessed was for my therapist.

I walked toward the couch and grimaced as I sat down, not exactly all the way back, but enough to make myself comfortable. I crossed my leg and clasped my hands together. Sitting down made the nerves worst, and I felt as if my stomach was full of butterflies. My hands were already sweating, but all I could do was stare at the brown carpet beneath my feet.

My head shot up when I heard someone knock on the door. I let out a low gasp when I realized it was the guy I was looking at not even ten minutes before. A blush spread onto my cheeks and I stood up slowly.

"I'm sorry if I startled you," He said with a sweet, lopsided smile on his face. "I'm Edward Cullen." He introduced himself.

"Bella Swan." I replied back, shaking his out stretched hand.

"I'm so sorry that I'm late. I woke up later than expected and had trouble starting my car this morning." He explained. He seemed sad about the idea and I gave an amused nod.

"That's ok." I replied simply, low and barely audible. He hadn't taken his eyes off me since he had walked in and I was becoming more and more self-conscious. I lowered my eyes and cleared my throat awkwardly.

"You can take a seat now if you'd like." He said nicely.

I sat back down and reassumed my previous position.

"So I'm guessing you prefer the name Bella. Your appointment sheet says Isabella." He pointed out.

I nodded slowly looking up at him.

He chuckled, and I had a hard time keeping my heart rate low. I rarely even felt like this about a guy I liked, let alone someone I didn't even know.

He sat down and just smiled, I let out a sigh again and examined the room. "You don't have to be nervous about this you know?" He began to say. My eyes snap backed to his and I blushed. "If it makes you feel any better, I don't even have a degree to be doing this."

I raised an eyebrow and gave him a frown. Use your words Bella… "You don't have a degree to be a therapist?" I asked. "Is that even allowed?"

He laughed again and I stayed still, not finding it as funny as he did. Who in the world was I talking, well semi-talking, too then?

"That didn't come out as nicely as I hoped it did. I've only had three years of schooling, but I do believe that I've been given enough advice and information to be able to try this out. I will admit this is my first time doing this, but I'm sure that you learn more by doing the actual thing. I have the chance to try and really help someone." He explained.

"Yes, I'm sure you learn more by observing someone who is _actually _depressed." I thought sarcastically to myself.

"So now that I've gotten that off my chest, I hope it won't be a problem for you."

I only bit my lip, and shook my head, quickly glancing at the clock. Jeez, time was passing by slow! I had only been in here for ten minutes!

"Would you like to start off by saying anything?" He asked, a hopeful look on his face. He was really trying hard, and I was being rude. The least I could do now was actually talk.

"Uhh no. No I don't." I said, shaking my head slowly. Not really looking at him.

"There's nothing at all you want to start off saying?" he asked again, making sure.

"Positive." I said simply. I placed a nice smile on my face.

"Ahhh so you're one of those." He smiled, cocking his head slightly to the left.

I narrowed my eyes slightly, not exactly sure what he was talking about. "One of what, exactly?" I asked, cocking my own head to the side.

"That type of person who likes to keep everything bottled up inside. Who thinks they're strong enough to hold everything in, but all the while they just want to scream everything out. To tell someone what they're feeling, but too scared to because they think that person won't understand." He explained thoroughly, leaning in closer toward me.

I swallowed and just stared, a blank look on my face. He didn't know anything about me! He could make guesses and tell me what he thought, but that didn't mean it was true.

**E.P.O.V**

She really was an unpredictable girl, and very beautiful too. I had been shocked when I walked in. She looked my age, and certainly not someone who I thought would need my help.

But then I saw her face, and I could see the sadness in her eyes. The frown she wore even though she hadn't even seen me walk in yet. I'm sure she didn't realize she was doing it, but she would constantly wrap her arms around herself. As if she was keeping herself together from the pain. I could tell that much.

Her eyes, although missing that excitement and light, were an absolutely unique shade of brown. Her wavy hair matched the color of her eyes, which stood out against her fair skin. She really was a pretty girl.

I knew this was going to be a great experience for me. I couldn't stop thinking about how well this would look in my resume if I had the chance to help her out. It would be really great if I wanted to transfer to another University. It would further my education and I would be able to learn so much more.

She hadn't been saying much the past few minutes that we had been here. She would glance at the clock every so often and I knew she was counting down the seconds until she could leave. This was the last thing I wanted to do, but I'm sure she had a lot on her chest that she just wanted to let out, so the only thing I could do was, in a sense, trick it out of her. Mr. Hawkins said he used it all the time to get someone to open up. Time to use something I learned at school…

She gave a dry laugh and nodded slowly. "Is that what you learned from me just sitting here? Because I haven't really said anything other than my name, and asked a few questions."

I tried to force myself not to smile. So she had fire in her too. "Denial could be the stage you're in too. I'm sure you don't think your keeping too much to yourself."

She glared at me. "Is this what they teach you at school? To be a jerk to all your clients?" She asked sarcastically.

I shrugged. "Well there really isn't any other explanation for why you're so quiet, unless you're really nervous about being here…"

"Or maybe it's the fact that I don't want to be here! That I'm doing this for my dad to, for once, make him happy and make him feel like he _is_ helping me through this crappy stage in my life. But I don't think talking to a therapist will help. Talking to a complete stranger isn't the solution to what I'm going through." She said to me. She was breathing a little harder by the end, but was happy that I had gotten her to admit all that. She looked relieved now.

She looked up and gave me a questioning look when she noticed I was smiling at her.

I laughed lightly and she narrowed her eyes again. "That's the most I've gotten out of you for the last twenty minutes that we've been here."

She stared at me for a couple seconds, registering what had just happened. Then she let out a sudden breath and leaned back all the way into the couch.

"Reverse-psychology really does work." She mumbled lightly, barely enough for me to hear.

"First thing we learn in school." I teased.

She blushed fiercely when she realized I had heard, and I laughed. Realizing she hadn't meant to say that out loud.

"Good to know." She mumbled again lightly.

"Feel better?" I asked. She nodded and sat up straight again, looking at the floor.

She sighed, and wrung her fingers together, "I'm sorry about…being so rude. I know that you're here to help. And I know that I'm not making this any easier on you, but I just don't think I'm ready to let anyone in yet. I don't want to waste your time by coming here and giving you nothing," I responded truthfully. I smiled, "Just look at the length you had to go through just so I could tell you that I don't want to be here."

I chuckled lightly for a moment but then became serious. Her smile slowly dropped from her face too and she waited. I scooted my chair closer to her, and I could tell she was confused to the sudden change of seriousness. I just really needed to get this off my chest. So with a sigh, I looked directly into her eyes, and placed one of my hands on top of her folded ones and squeezed lightly in comfort. At that moment, it was like a strong electric current passed through us and I flinched. I knew she had felt it too, because she jumped, but didn't move or look away.

"I'm sure you think I'm observing your every move and trying to come up with some phony reason as to why your acting this way or what I think your feeling. But, I promise you that I won't be _that _kind of therapist." I promised. I only hoped she saw how much I really meant that. How much I did want to help her be happy again.

**B.P.O.V**

I could see the burning sincerity in his eyes. How he wanted me to believe that he wouldn't be like those stereotypical therapists. I was actually kind of happy that he was trying this out with me. If I would have had Mr. Hawkins he probably would of realized what was wrong with me the moment he looked at me.

I wasn't even angry at the fact that he had gotten me to open up. I felt lighter in a sense. I didn't have that feeling in me that was pushing me to tell him that I didn't want to be here. And now that he knew, it was like everything became ten times better.

"I really do appreciate that." I started off, giving him a sad smile. "But I don't think I want to come back and talk about everything that's happened I-"

"You don't have to," He said, interrupting me. "That's exactly what I don't want you to think. I can see how much better you feel when you talk about what's bothering you. And I promise I wont trick anything out of you anymore," He joked.

I laughed and sighed loudly, looking at the wall behind him.

"How about we cut this session short? You can think about what we've talked about and decide whether or not you want to do this." He suggested.

I nodded and stood up. He followed my lead and extended his hand. "It was nice to meet you." He said sweetly.

I giggled and smiled. "Likewise."

I walked out of the door slowly, closing my eyes and breathing in deeply once I felt like there was more air to breath. I stopped for a second and just let everything sink in.

I had to admit that I was being stubborn when he said all of those things about keeping everything in and being in denial. I didn't really want to believe that was me. But with everything that had happened, I had changed, and not at all for the better.

I walked slowly toward the front desk, and as I stopped in font of Ivy again, it was like I suddenly had this urge to try and be me again.

"Are you all finished?" I heard her ask. I fixed my eyes on her and nodded. "Well would you like to make another appointment?" She asked, annoyed.

Despite all I had believed before I came here, I just couldn't find myself to think the same way. And so I found myself making another appointment.

**A/N: So, what did ya guys think? Review please! If you guys didn't really get this from E's P.O.V for now, what I want him to care about more, is getting the opportunity to actually be a therapist. I didn't want to put too much of that in there or else he would just sound like a jerk who was just doing this for himself. But of course, that is going to change. ;)**

**-Edward Is My Lullaby**


	3. Chapter 3:A Piece at a Time

**DISCLAIMER: STEPHENIE MEYER OWNS ALL THINGS TWILIGHT!**

Chapter 3: A Piece at a Time

**B.P.O.V**

Go to the grocery store.

Go to school.

Go to therapy

That was my exact schedule for today. Not really the most happy peppy day ever.

"Thank you." I said to the cashier as I paid and bagged my groceries, the first stop on my list. I was running a little low on food supplies and thought it would be a good idea to shop before I had to go to school.

She nodded in acknowledgement and smiled, already ringing up the next person in line.

I walked out the door and sighed, scowling up at the sky as I walked toward my car. Seattle wasn't exactly known for it's warm and sunny weather, but couldn't the clouds and rain just take a vacation once every few days! I'm sure it wouldn't hurt everyone around here to soak up some vitamin C!

I blew out a breath as I drove home, already knowing that it was going to be one of those days. I usually called them my "grumpy", "not in the mood for anything", "don't talk to me" days. And then I would just grow moodier when I realized that I had so much crap to do it was inevitable for me to stay home. It was only eight o'clock in the morning and I was already in a bad mood. I was already yelling at the sky for crying out loud!

I opened my car door a little harder than necessary and took out my groceries. I climbed the couple of stairs needed to get to my apartment and huffed when I realized I hadn't taken the keys out of my purse. My arms were full with holding the bags so it was going to be a real challenge trying to get my keys.

I bit my lip as I slowly tried to move two of the bags to my right arm to unzip my purse. I almost had it when I lost my balance and dropped all my fruit onto the floor. "You have got to be kidding me!" I yelled out in an annoyed whisper, unlocking my door and pushing it open. I then bent down to pick everything up with an annoyed grunt. "This is just so freakin perf-" I stopped mid word when I noticed a little girl standing outside the door of the apartment next to mine. She looked about seven and was looking at me shyly as she played with the end of her braid nervously, swaying slightly in her purple dress.

I had always seen her playing out in the yard by herself in front of the apartment building now and then but really never knew she lived next to me. Wow, two years in this apartment and I didn't even know who my neighbors were.

I smiled at her and she returned it a little more comfortably. I looked back down again and resumed picking up the now bruised apples. My head only shot up when I noticed her helping me out. She was placing everything into the bag again and I smiled, a real smile for once. We worked together in silence until everything was off the floor and back were it belonged.

"Thank you." I said nicely, standing up with everything in my arms again.

"Your welcome," She said lightly, playing with her braid again. "You have a really pretty necklace." She said suddenly, looking down again shyly.

My now free hand flew to my neck and lightly touched the golden heart locket that lay on my chest. I had been wearing it for such a long time now that I hardly noticed it was there.

"I like your necklace too." I said, noticing the pretty star necklace with a cursive A on the front. She beamed up at me and I laughed lightly. "What's your name?" I asked her.

She smiled. "Allie. What about yours?"

"I'm Bella." I replied, forgetting all about my horrible mood and aching arms from carrying the groceries, which now that I thought about brought back the pain. I grimaced when I felt the cramping in my shoulder and tried to rearrange the bags in my arms again.

"Would you like some help?" she asked sweetly.

I was stunned for a couple of seconds at her question. She was technically helping out a complete stranger. "Umm, uh…" I stuttered, not really knowing what to say. "Umm sure. That would be great." I finally managed to get out.

I handed her two of the bags that held all the light things I had bought and she followed me quietly into the kitchen. I told her she could just place everything on the counter and she nodded, waiting patiently until I placed all that I was carrying on my kitchen table.

I gave her a chocolate candy bar as a thank you before walking her back out into the hallway and toward her door. "Thank you again. I would have dropped everything again if you hadn't helped me." I said, swiping my forehead dramatically in a sign of relief. I smiled at her again and she laughed.

"I don't want to seem mean or anything," I started off quietly. "But didn't your mom ever tell you not to speak to strangers." I said. I was only worried that she was this polite to everyone she met. It wasn't very safe for her to do that.

She laughed again and nodded. "Yes she has. But I don't really see you as a complete stranger. I see you everyday. You're the girl who's always tripping when you climb the stairs." She giggled.

Her answer surprised me a bit, but I was already laughing along lightly with her. "Yes that completely sounds like me." I agreed.

"Allison!" I heard someone call from inside. She turned her head quickly and then looked back toward me.

"You should go inside. It was nice to finally get to meet you." I said.

She nodded and ran to the door, shutting it behind her when she was finally inside.

I smiled as I walked the couple steps back to my apartment, thinking that her help had just lightened my mood ten fold. She was a really cute kid and her personality had managed to brighten my day.

Once all my groceries where put away, I grabbed my school bag and jacket and headed out the door. Class didn't start for another half hour, but I had a paper due next week so I wanted to get started on it.

I bit my pop tart mindlessly, not really hungry but knowing my stomach would start to growl during school and that wouldn't exactly be a very good thing. I was already walking toward my car when I noticed Allie playing with her dolls on the grass. She looked up when she noticed someone walking by and smiled. I smiled back and waved, opening the gate to get to my car.

Going to school was one of those distractions that I found very helpful. I always tried to put all that I could into my school work, and sometimes I found myself so absorbed into what I was doing that it took away all the crappy stuff in my life for just a while. A feeling I loved to have if I got the chance.

The new semester had started a couple of weeks ago and my classes were already so interesting. I actually looked forward to all I had to do this year.

After being in the library for about half an hour I decided it was a good enough time to head to class. I was taking a writing class that all my professors advised me to take. My major was journalism, so I thought it would be a good idea to go ahead and take their advice.

"Good morning." My professor greeted me as I walked into the classroom.

I smiled back and took a seat in the far right back of the room, where I usually liked to sit. It began to fill up pretty quickly, so I busied myself with drawing patterns on my notepad until class would start.

"Ok, I think we should get started now. It's been three weeks since school started so the office wants me to take role just so they know who's checked in and out of certain classes." Mrs. Dessen explained.

I looked up and saw her putting on her red glasses. She wasn't very old, maybe in her late fifties, but she did speak so low that it was pretty hard to hear from back here. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to sit all the way in the back for this class.

I looked back down at my notebook again, knowing she wouldn't call my name any time soon. I was still listening intently though, just to see whom I would have in my class. Living in Seattle gave you the privilege of knowing absolutely everyone. Mostly everyone from high school moved down here just to get away from the boring, little town life of Forks. Not that this was much of a difference. You still ended up knowing everyone.

"Edward Cullen?" I heard her ask.

My head shot up at the sound of his name, not at all expecting him.

"Here." I heard him say and my eyes moved to where the sound of his voice had come from.

He was at the left front side of the classroom, smiling nicely at our new professor, whose name at the moment I had forgotten completely. A couple of girls who were seated near him did a double take as they looked at the person who had just spoken. I snorted lightly and rolled my eyes. It looked like he could add to his list of admirers.

I gulped nervously when I realized he would soon find out I was in his class as well. I didn't exactly find having him in the same class as I was in a good thing. It sounded even worst when I put the word _therapist _in there as well.

"Jessica Stanley?"

"Here."

Great, another person I had to worry about having in this stupid class. The popular, annoying, cheerleader from high school who hated my guts for some unknown reason was in this class with me too, although that one did made complete sense. She had picked the same exact major I had. The hatred she had for me two years ago had died down, but she still managed to glare at me any chance she had. Maybe following my professors' advice wasn't such a good idea…

"Isabella Swan." I heard my name being called.

I cleared my throat lightly and raised my hand. "Here."

She nodded when she spotted me and I blushed as almost the entire class turned to look. It only went away when everyone had turned back boredly to the front of the classroom.

Only, a couple of seconds later I felt like someone was still staring at me. This weird jolt of electricity passed through my body and I breathed in, turning my head to look at who it was, was staring.

Edward smiled sweetly when he saw me look. He gave me a little wave and I smiled back, blushing. He chuckled and turned toward the front again to pay attention to the lesson the teacher had started to give. I sighed; this was going to be a long hour.

When class finally did end, I jotted down the homework she had just assigned and stood up to leave. I didn't run out of the classroom, I didn't even speed walk out of there. But apparently, walking in general wasn't exactly my thing. I suddenly tripped on absolutely nothing and began to fall forward. I dropped everything and was ready to catch myself from the fall, but it never came.

I felt someone's arms around my waist and I was being pulled back up. I gasped out of surprise and my hands flew to the ones around me. I steadied myself and turned around quickly, only to be met with Edward's stunning green eyes.

His hands were still lightly placed on my waist and mine were on his forearms. "Are you ok?" He smiled lightly, scrunching his eyebrows in worry when I didn't

answer.

I snapped out of my daze and took a step back, dropping my arms in embarrassment. His hands fell to his sides and I blushed.

"Umm, ya. I'm fine. Thank you for…catching me." I said, bending down to pick up my books. I was just dropping everything today, wasn't I?

"Of course." he said, squatting down to help me. He grabbed some of my books and notebooks and stood up, waiting for me to collect everything and try and fit it in my bag.

I said thank you again and grabbed the rest of my things from him. I looked up banging my head trying to think of something to say. I just didn't want to have an awkward silence.

But of course he beat me to it. "I didn't know you attended this college." He said. We began to walk to the student parking lot slowly.

I nodded. "This is my second year here," I raised an eyebrow. "I thought you wanted were studying psychology." I said.

He chuckled and I smiled. "I am."

"So then why a writing class?" I wondered, stopping when I reached my truck. He followed my lead and ran a hand through his soft looking bronze hair.

"I needed another class to reach the number of credits I need for this semester, but I'm already taking all the classes I need for my major. So it was either this or a drama class. Acting isn't really my thing." He explained, shrugging.

"Ahh. I'm sure modeling would be." I blurted out in a mumble without thinking. I wasn't actually going to say that out loud, but it had past my lips before I even registered it.

He chuckled softly. "What?"

"What?" I asked hurriedly, as if I hadn't said anything. I was in no way going to say what I had initially thought, that with his good looks he'd be able to pass as a model in a heartbeat. So playing it off would just have to do.

He laughed and I turned a million shades of red. Oh my gosh, just shoot me now.

"What did you say?" He asked again.

I shook my head. "Nothing, I said nothing." I said, trying to convince him one last time.

"Right," He laughed lightly, nodding. "So I know you have an appointment with me today." He continued with a huge smile on his face.

I cleared my throat. "Yes I do. I figured it would be a good thing for me to try therapy," I informed him. "Especially since you promised not to be a stereotypical kind of therapist." I joked.

I got him to laugh and I couldn't help but smile myself. "Of course. I wouldn't break my promise." He said, much more serious now. "I'm just really glad you decided to keep going. To be honest I didn't really think you would have."

I scrunched my eyebrows together. "Why not?"

"Because no one wants to go in the first place. And I've noticed you're much more stubborn than the average person."

Wasn't that a fact. "I guess I am. I'm pretty sure I get it from my dad. And he's actually the reason I went in the first place. I just want to be who I was before…everything happened." I explained.

He nodded. "I'm happy you've decided that." He said.

I sighed and nodded, feeling confident about actually saying it out loud.

" Well I think we should get going so we wont be late to the office. I'm sure you wouldn't want to be there for more than you're supposed to since I actually planned out an hour long session today." He reminded me.

"Oh umm ya. That's right." I said nervously. I had actually forgotten that I still had the appointment to go too. Talking with Edward outside of the office made me a little more comfortable than actually being in there with him.

"Would you like a ride there?" he asked sweetly, giving me a crooked smile.

To actually say that I was dazzled by the way he was looking at me now would be an understatement. The way his beautiful bronze hair fell over his sparkling green eyes, accompanied by that smile just made me feel very dizzy.

"Uh, I uh, I really don't think…" I was opening and closing my mouth like an idiot, and I couldn't even get a full sentence out. Geez, I really needed help. He was my freakin therapist!

I closed my eyes and took in a breath, pointing behind me. "No thank you. This is my car anyways so…" I opened my eyes again and ran my hand through my hair in frustration.

"Ok, I'll just see you in a couple of minutes then."

I nodded and began to walk backwards slowly, but still managing to trip over something. Edward ran forward to grab my arm and steady me.

He chuckled near my ear and I bit my lip. "Are you sure you want to drive over there?" he asked.

"Ha. Umm ya I'm fine. I just have a problem with walking." He laughed. 'Ya I wish it was a joke.' I thought to myself, opening my car and starting it.

I waved to him as I drove off letting out a breath I hadn't noticed I was holding.

It took no time for me to get to the Hawkins building. I leaned my arms against the wheel and placed my head on top. I had realized that by making another appointment with Edward would require for me to actually talk. Not only that but I would have to talk about all that was bothering me. It was starting to become inevitable anyway. He would find out sooner or later, surely by someone else. All he had to do was ask someone around here and I'm sure they'd inform him of all that had happened to me in the last two years. But I'd rather he'd hear what happened from me rather than some random person working at the thrift shop. It was going to take some time though.

I saw someone park behind me in a very nice looking car. I squinted my eyes and noticed Edward getting out of the drivers seat, finally realizing why he was so sad about it not starting last week. It _was _a really nice car.

I opened my door and stepped out of my car, feeling the butterflies in my stomach kick up again. I wrapped my arms around myself and walked toward the front door.

Edward had beat me to it, but waited for me until I got there. He opened it for me and waited for me to step inside before he went in.

"Hey Ivy." He greeted the girl at the front.

She looked right past me and beamed up at Edward, like it brightened up her week just by seeing him!

"Hey Edward. You're right on time today." She said, a little too nicely.

He laughed and walked over to the counter. "Yes I am. Has Mr. Hawkins left me any messages today?"

"No he hasn't. And you're appointment hasn't arrived yet, so it looks like you have a couple minutes to yourself." She said. I could almost swear she was giving him a hint to stay and use those minutes to talk to her.

I actually cleared my throat after she'd, in a way, ignored me and raised my eyebrows as if to say 'his appointment is actually right here.'

Edward was already laughing under his breath and I turned to glare at him. He could have actually said that I was standing right next to him. He raised an eyebrow and I rolled my eyes, turning back to look at Ivy who was blushing pretty profusely.

"I'm sorry. I didn't see you there." She apologized, her voice full of embarrassment.

"I wonder why." I said under my breath, which I realized Edward still heard.

He looked at me for a couple of seconds and turned back to Ivy. "I'm using the room across the office, so just make sure no one uses it." He said.

She nodded quickly and looked at me one more time before going back to work on the computer.

I let Edward walk in front of me and I followed him into the same hall I had walked through the first day I had been here. Only now we where walking past the first door to our left and walking straight down. We turned a corner in the hall and walked into a room on our right.

Unlike the one we previously used, this one looked much more comfortable. The walls were a relaxing shade of lavender, and the couch actually looked comfy and clean. I didn't mind actually sitting on this one.

"I hope you don't mind us using this room from now on. I didn't really like the old one."

I shook my head. "No, this is actually much better."

"Not really fond of bright green walls, huh?"

I smiled. "No not really."

He chuckled and walked over to a table lined with different colors of paint. Along with them was a blank piece of drawing paper, with a brush to the side.

I raised an eyebrow and looked at Edward. I pointed to the table and said, "Umm, is this for me?"

He smiled and nodded. "Yup, this is a new exercise I thought you should try."

I laughed. "Coloring?"

"We usually do this with the little kids; mostly the ones who don't like to talk. Here sit." He instructed.

I listened and sat on the red plastic chair he pointed too. He sat across from me on the same table, which was kinda small might I add, and picked up the paintbrush.

"I just want you to draw any kind of emotions you're feeling. Anything that comes to mind just put it on the paper. It doesn't even have to make sense." He held the brush out to me and I took it hesitantly.

He opened the tube of colors and put them onto a plastic plate, so all I had to do was dip the brush in any color I wanted. I was a twenty-year-old girl about to paint in therapy. That didn't sound weird at all.

"And so it's not awkward and we're sitting here quietly, I thought we could play twenty questions while you paint. I just thought we should get to know each other a little better so you're not uncomfortable with me around." He shrugged, like it was the easiest thing in the world.

I hated opening up to people. I wasn't always like that before, but I just felt vulnerable and embarrassed when talking about myself.

"That's fine." I said softly, looking at all my color options to paint. I didn't even know where to start.

"Should I start or do you want to ask me something first?"

I looked up at him and let out a breath, "I can start." I responded confidently.

He grinned. "Sounds good."

I nodded and dipped my brush in a navy blue color. "Why do you want to become a therapist?" I asked, easy enough.

"Uh, because my dad was one." I couldn't help but notice the past tense of the sentence. "And I just thought I should follow in his footsteps."

I slowed the strokes I was making on the paper but didn't look up. "So you don't really want to study psychology?"

He chuckled and I looked up. "It's my turn remember?"

I giggled softly and nodded. "That's right."

"What's you're favorite color?" He started off. Wow, his question was much more simpler than the first one I asked. Maybe I should tone it down a bit.

"Green." I said blushing, although a couple of weeks ago I would of said blue.

He raised an eyebrow. "What?" I asked.

"You not only told me a couple of weeks ago that you weren't fond of the other room because of the green walls."

That was a good point. "Ya but, that was like a bright, gross kind of green. I like a more emerald sort of color." 'Of course you're eyes have nothing to do with my now sudden change of opinion.' I thought sarcastically.

"Why are you blushing?" He asked with a small laugh.

I looked at him and smirked. "It's my turn remember?" I repeated back to him.

He laughed. "That's right."

"What's you're favorite…" I thought for a second "Food?"

"Definitely brownies. I make some real killer ones."

I laughed, stopping what I was doing. "I said a food not a snack!"

He snorted and laughed along with me. "Brownies are food. You have to chew and swallow in order to eat it."

I glared playfully. "Well that doesn't count as an answer."

He rolled his eyes with a smile. "Fine. I love my mom's steak."

"That I'll take." I finally agreed.

"What's you're favorite food?" He asked curiously.

I smirked while I painted. "Chocolate covered strawberries." I looked up and saw he had his eyebrows raised. I had to laugh at that and shook my head. "I love Italian food in general, but mushroom ravioli would have to be my favorite."

He nodded. "Very nice."

It continued on from there. We asked different questions and gave answers. I even found myself relaxing a bit after the first few. I wasn't really paying attention to what I was drawing now. I was more focused on our conversation.

Halfway through, I noticed he was starting to ask questions that I had to think thoroughly about. They weren't very difficult; I just didn't have an answer to them.

For example: "What's you're favorite song?" He asked.

My smile faltered and I frowned. I didn't really remember the last time I listened to music. "To be honest I don't think I have one." I responded.

I heard him laugh. "Too many favorites?"

"No, I just…don't remember the last time I really listened to music. It doesn't catch my attention." I kept painting, my strokes becoming harder and harder on the paper as I became nervous. Why? I didn't really know, I just wished that I could of given a normal answer like a normal person. Or even been smart enough to just lie and buy myself out of this one. But lying to Edward just didn't seem like the right thing to do.

"Your turn." He reminded me. My eyes shot up and I saw a smile placed on his face. No judgment or sympathy in his eyes, just a genuine smile.

I didn't really know why this caught me by surprise. Maybe it was because I expected a sorry smile. I didn't really know.

"Favorite animal."

"Lion. Actually I want to know what you're favorite animal is. And a dog or a cat doesn't count."

I huffed. "But I like dogs!" I whined lightly. I didn't really know what other animal to even pick…

"Ok, second favorite then."

"That means I still have to think of another one." I argued.

"Better get thinking then." He smiled.

"Ugh, fine. A lamb." I decided.

"A lamb?" He asked, raising his eyebrows.

I nodded. "Yep. They're cute, fluffy and they give you wool. What's not to like?" I asked.

He laughed loudly and shook his head. "That was a good answer. A lamb it is."

I let out a low laugh and dipped my brush in red. "What's you're favorite place to be in?" I asked. I stopped painting and looked up. I was curious about this answer.

He looked at me for a couple of seconds and let out a sigh. "It's…a very beautiful place. Not many people go there and it's peaceful. Its colorful and bright and everything you'd read in a book." He explained thoroughly.

I laughed. "Sounds lovely, but would you like me to guess the place?"

"I can't really tell you exactly," he chuckled softly, cocking his head to the side. "But maybe I can show you one day."

"Maybe." I nodded. He smiled that crooked smile of his again and I blinked hard. "Ummm, your turn."

"What do you like to do when you're out with friends?"

Again, I took a couple of seconds to just think of what I should say. I could lie or just simply answer the question by saying what I was thinking now.

"I don't even remember the last time I went out with a friend just to have fun," I admitted. "I pushed everyone out of my life so quickly that I never stopped to think about the consequences."

"And why do you think you pushed them away?" he asked softly. Ahh, so here was his therapist side. I didn't really mind it though.

"I was so tired of hearing all the pity apologies and the apologetic faces I saw everywhere I went. Apologies and reassurances weren't going to make anything better and I heard it so much that I just," I shrugged. "I just broke down. I felt so lost and so mad at the world. I…"I trailed, off feeling that tight knot in my throat again. "I just can't help but think about that stage were I was just mean and rude to everyone. I shut so many people out without an explanation." I wiped a stray tear away and sniffed. "Angela would be a good example of that." I mumbled. "She was my best friend and I didn't say anything to her for a week straight. I'm sure she thought that I just needed space, but weeks turned into months and I still didn't say a word. I was more than surprised when she spoke to me after I stopped being a mute. She was so sweet and not at all angry with me." My voice broke slightly and I bit my lip to try and keep myself together. But the tears were already coming down my cheeks quickly, so all I could do was wipe them away.

"Bella," Edward said, grabbing my hand in one of his own. I felt the electricity pass through us much stronger than ever, but I knew I shouldn't really think about that right now. "That's not your fault."

I shook my head in disagreement but didn't dare speak.

"No it isn't. That was just a normal reflex you had to try and keep from hearing all that reminded you of what had happened. People try and help but being sympathetic but when the wound is still fresh the last thing you want to do is rub in some salt."

What he said did make sense, but the guilt was still so prominent in my head that it was hard to accept it.

"I just think you should try and repair all those relationships you think are supposedly ruined. It's never too late for anything, and thinking about the future is so much better than thinking about something that's already past and you can't go and re-do," He squeezed my hand in comfort, and saw the uncertainty in my face. "I'm not saying you have to start off with talking to everyone. Just one person at a time, maybe even start with Angela," He smiled and I sighed shakily. I felt emotionally drained. I wasn't used to crying in front of anyone really. "Believe me, it'll be worth it."

I nodded and decided that was the first thing I was going to do to try and salvage a part of my life, one piece at a time.

He breathed out a sigh and I swallowed hard, still trying to get rid of the saddening feeling in my chest. He looked to the left and frowned slightly, I followed his gaze and saw the clock, noticing that it was ten minutes past the time we were supposed to be finished at.

I looked back toward him and noticed he was already looking at me. I gave him a small smile and again he squeezed my hand, which I hadn't noticed he was still holding. "I guess our appointment is done for today." He said. He let go and I placed it on my lap again.

I nodded, already grabbing my stuff to leave when I noticed the picture I had created on the table. I frowned and picked it up, surprised by what I saw.

"Some emotions I'm feeling." I said, looking at all the dark browns, and blacks, and blues I had used.

Edward stood up and came behind me to see.

There were only a few bright reds and greens here and there. Not very visible but not completely hidden either.

"You didn't do so bad." Edward complimented nicely. And for once I agreed.

I could see all the dark colors on the paper, the dark and gloomy obstacles in my life that I had to break my way through to get to the slightly apparent bright colors. The hopeful strokes of happiness that I wanted to have. And I knew I could do it. I just had to do it one piece at a time.

**Ahhhhh! I actually really like this chapter. I don't want this story to be very depressing and sad (that's the last thing I need) but I do want it to be kind of realistic. She's hurt and the whole point of the story is her coming out of that. But of course there will be drama! :p Please review!**

**-Edward Is My Lullaby**


	4. Chapter 4:Some Rain and Coffee

**DISCLAIMER: STEPHENIE MEYER OWNS ALL THINGS TWILIGHT!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 4: Some Rain and Coffee<p>

"Hello?" I said quietly as I answered my phone. I walked to the back of the store toward my locker.

"Hey Bells." My dad said nervously.

"Hey dad. Is something wrong?" I asked worriedly. I slowed my walking and stopped once I got near the door.

"No, no. Nothing's wrong." He cleared his throat. I stayed quiet and waited for him to continue. "I was just wondering if you wanted to come over tomorrow?"

I raised an eyebrow, knowing there was more to the question than he was letting on. I knew him better than he thought.

"Continue…" I laughed.

I heard him grumble something and then give a loud sigh. "I just want you to come over to see Billy and Jacob. They haven't seen you in so long and they're always asking how you are. Just for an hour Bells and then I promise you can leave." He pleaded.

My smile faded. I leaned my head against the wall and closed my eyes. I felt the coolness of it on my forehead as I thought of a response.

I was ready to give the excuse that I always gave, "No, I can't dad. I have so much schoolwork to do and then I have to go to work. I just don't have time." That would normally be the response Charlie would receive. He always took it like he hadn't heard it before, and sometimes I would simply say no and he would be fine with it. But Billy and Jake were practically family, and it was time that I started following Edward's advice.

It had been three days since my last meeting with him. And after our talk, regrets and wrong decisions had come crashing back to me and it was pretty difficult to take it all in at one time. It even took me a couple of hours to realize that I couldn't ignore everything forever.

So, after a lot of thinking, I had decided to ask Angela if she was available anytime this week so we could go out. It had taken me quiet a few minutes after I arrived here to work to even ask. When I finally gained enough courage to ask, it had gone smoother than I imagined it would go. She looked very happy and told me that Friday would be perfect. I was nervous to say the least, I hadn't been out in a while, but maybe this would give me the inspiration to go through with what I had promised both Edward and myself.

"Umm, sure dad. I'll, uh, I'll be there." I said, opening my eyes. I bit my lip to keep myself from blurting out that I had changed my mind. Not only would my dad be crushed, but this would also be my first step in trying to start over.

"Really?" He asked, surprised. I could hear the happiness in his voice, which was enough to make me smile.

"Yup. What time should I be there at?" I asked, wanting this conversation to be over. I was so close to backing out.

"Tonight at seven thirty is fine."

"Of course." I sighed out and then laughed. The games always started at eight and ended around ten. My dad being a huge baseball fan was always on schedule.

"You don't have to be there long if you don't want too. Just as long as you come for a bit." He compromised.

"Ok. That sounds fine."

"Thank you so much Bella. I know Billy and Jacob will be happy to see you."

I nodded even though he couldn't see me. "No problem dad. I'm excited to see them too." I said sincerely.

"Ok, Bells. I'll see you tonight."

"Bye."

I put my cell phone away and put it on silent as I usually did every time I arrived to work, but because I had been so damn nervous I had forgotten this time. It was so quiet in here that it almost scared Angela and I half to death when it rang.

"Your dad call?" she guessed, smiling as she arranged some of the new books we had received at the front desk.

I sighed. "Yes he did. Wants me to go over tonight."

"That's nice. Does he miss your cooking?" She laughed, knowing very well that my dad couldn't cook to save his life. He had a hard time finding something to eat everyday after I moved out.

I giggled. "Probably. He's going to have some company later so I should bake a cake for him or something." I became anxious again and I bit my lip, my eyebrows pulling together in worry.

Angela probably saw my expression and went back to what she was doing with a quiet nod.

A couple minutes later and I was heading over to my car to drive home. Class started a little later today than it normally did. It usually began an hour right after I left work but because the teacher decided to move the time, I now had three and a half hours free on my hands. Something I usually tried to avoid.

I walked the couple steps up onto my floor and forced myself to open the door to my apartment.

Sometimes it was depressing to just walk into a quiet place where you knew you would be all alone. No one there to greet you or keep you company. Instead you had to think of something entertaining for you to do by yourself and sometimes that was even possible which made…enough with the depressing thoughts Bella!

I let out an annoyed noise and walked into my room. I grabbed all the things I would need for class and headed out the door again. I slammed it once I was outside and literally ran down the steps. I wasn't going to sit around for three hours and go through what I had to deal with every night anyway.

_Grrr-umph! _My car sounded as I tried to turn it on. The engine would start for about a second and then make that awful noise. I tried it once more and cried out lightly in frustration when it did it again.

"You have got to be kidding me." I mumbled to myself as I leaned my forehead on the steering wheel. This was not my day…

I got out of my old red truck and kicked it as hard as I could when I closed the door. I sighed and rubbed its hood as I walked by. I couldn't be mad at the damn car even if I wanted too.

I put my book in my bag and put on my sweater. The wind was starting to pick up and the grey clouds started to move in. It wasn't supposed to rain today but it would be a miracle if that were actually true.

After walking for a bit I decided that a nice hot coffee would be good. The coffee shop wasn't very far from here and it would give me something to do before I had to go to school.

Three blocks down and it started to lightly drizzle. I didn't really mind, it actually felt good on my skin, but not even five minutes later did it start to pour. I was getting drenched and the one day I didn't bring an umbrella it was raining like no tomorrow.

I began speed walking underneath anything that would keep me dry, but there really was no use because I was already pretty wet. I leaned against a dry wall and rubbed my arms to try and gain some heat. I was already freezing and I had only brought a thin sweater to wear. The thought of a hot coffee sounded much more appealing now but the thought of getting there made me want to cry!

As I pondered over what to do I heard someone honk their car horn. I turned my head to look and squinted as I tried to look at the driver in a nicely polished Volvo.

"Bella!" someone called and my eyes widened at the sound of my name. The car pulled up to the sidewalk and I pushed off from the comfort of the dry wall I was still leaning against.

"Edward?" I asked quietly to myself, not exactly sure if I was right or not. I walked over to the car anyway and smiled when I realized I had been right.

He chuckled lightly when I got near and smiled. "Hey, are you ok?" he asked nicely.

I blushed but nodded quickly. "Ya, I'm just headed to the coffee shop a couple blocks down. I was just waiting for the rain to settle a bit." I explained.

He laughed again and gave me his famous crooked smile. "I can give you a ride if you'd like. I could use a hot chocolate right about now."

No way, he probably had somewhere important to go and something much more important to do. I could suck it up and walk a couple more minutes.

I shook my head. "No that's ok. I don't want to get your car all wet and I'm almost there. Thank you though."

I began to walk away from the car when he spoke again. "I really don't mind Bella. Come on."

I shook my head again. "I can walk." I replied.

He looked at me with a raised eyebrow and I gave him a questioning look. "What?" I asked.

He shook his head and laughed. "Ok then." But instead of pulling his car away from the sidewalk to drive off, he turned off the car and got out of the drivers seat.

"What are you doing?" I asked in shock.

He shrugged as he closed the car door and came toward me. "I'll walk with you." He said simply. "I told you I wouldn't mind something to drink."

I gasped. "Edward, don't be ridiculous. It's pouring out here." His hair was already wet, falling into his emerald eyes. The droplets slid off of his nice leather jacket and onto the pavement. I didn't know what shocked me more; the fact that he looked so stunningly beautiful or he was actually going to walk with me.

"You're walking and you seem perfectly fine. I'd like to walk with you." He gestured with his arm for me to go ahead of him.

"No! Get in your car. You're being absurd."

He only chuckled. "The more we stand out here the more we're going to get wet. I suggest we start walking to that coffee shop." He said, pretending to shiver.

I glared at him and walked over to the Volvo. "Just get in the damn car." I pointed to it demandingly, but again he laughed!

"Only if you get in with me." He compromised.

I rolled my eyes, and crossed my arms. He came over next to me and leaned back against his car. It looked like neither of us were really going to give in, so with an annoyed sigh I finally nodded.

Once we were both in and he had turned up the heater, he turned to me and said, "You are so stubborn. "A smirk planted on his face.

"I could say the same about you." I mumbled, looking ahead of me and nowhere else.

"But my stubbornness actually made sense. Why would you want to walk in the rain?"

I turned to look at him. "Because it would have been a fun experience." I lied, keeping a straight face.

He raised an eyebrow. "You live in Seattle. The experience isn't fun anymore when you see rain everyday."

I cracked a smile. "Fine. I just didn't want you to stop from whatever you were going to do and give me a ride."

"I actually have nowhere to go so I would of felt really bad if I had actually let you walk in this weather."

I shrugged. "Well you know what they say, assuming makes an ass out of you and me."

He laughed. "And how does that exactly apply to this situation."

"Because I was being a stubborn, angry person and you actually got off the car to persuade me to get in, which I didn't appreciate by the way." I glared at him playfully but he only chuckled.

"Reverse psychology works every time."

"This is the second time you've used that on me Mr. Cullen and I can't say that I like it very much."

"When was the first?" he asked, pulling his eyebrows together to try and remember.

"The first time we met. You used it very skillfully to make me open up in our first therapy session. It worked that time too." I reminded him. I didn't really know why but I fought the urge to smile at the memory. I didn't exactly know why that emotion came up. I was a crying wreck after that therapy session.

"It has it's rewards though, doesn't it? The first time led you to open up and let out some of the things that were bothering you, thus making you come back to therapy. And this time, you are no longer walking in the rain but instead are sitting in my beautifully repaired, warm Volvo." He smiled triumphantly.

I rolled my eyes but giggled. "Whatever you say."

I brought my hair over my shoulder so the hot air would hit it and dry it a bit when I noticed droplets falling onto the seat. I bit my lip and blushed a little. He seemed like he really cared about his car and I was getting it all wet! "I hope you don't mind that I'm making a mess in here. This is another reason why you should of let me walk."

"It's leather Bella. Slides right off." He chuckled.

"Well I'm not a very car savvy person so I wouldn't know that."  
>"I can tell. By the way, why aren't you driving your monstrosity of a car again?"<p>

My eyes widened and I slapped his arm. "It is not a monstrosity! It is a unique car and I love it!"

"Ok, ok. I take it back. So why aren't you driving your unique, beautiful car?" He laughed, rubbing the spot on his arm I had slapped.

"I did not hit you that hard," I laughed. " But thank you for changing the adjectives in that sentence."

My smile dropped and I pouted slightly. "And the engine wouldn't start. I have to take it to the mechanic now."

He turned to look at me when he hit a red light and smiled. "Well if you'd like, I know someone who is awesome at fixing cars. You wouldn't have to pay."

"Really?" I asked excitedly. That way I didn't have to get it towed and I'm sure it would of cost a lot to get it fix.

"Ya."  
>"That'd be perfect Edward!"<p>

"I'll just have to call you to see when would be a perfect day to come by." He said. He pulled into the parking lot and picked a spot close to the coffee shop.

I nodded and took my seatbelt off, putting my bag on the car floor but taking out my wallet so I could pay.

I was about to open the car door when Edward beat me to it. He held out his hand for me to take and smiled. I took it shyly and mumbled a quick thank you, then let go as soon as I was out of the car.

We neared the door and he took a couple steps quickly to get in front of me and open that as well.

I gave a small laugh at the thought of him being so gentlemanly. His mother had really taught him well.

"What?" he asked, an eyebrow raised.

I scrunched my eyebrows. "What?"

He chuckled. "What's so funny?"

"Oh," I shrugged and walked forward in line. "It really isn't anything funny."

"Well not I want to know even more." He laughed.

"Hello, welcome to Seattle's Best Coffee what can I get for you?"

I turned away from looking at Edward and looked forward to order what I wanted. That is, until I noticed that the girl behind the counter wasn't even looking at me, but instead at Edward.

"Uh, I don't know what I want yet so I think I'll let her order first." He said politely, his eyes on the menu above her head. She frowned slightly but then quickly smiled again.

"I wouldn't mind telling you our specials if you'd like." She said, a bit too friendly in my opinion.

I scoffed without thinking and then widened my eyes when I realized she had heard. I tried clearing my throat to play it off but I think my blush had given me away.

Edward laughed quietly beside me and I bit my lip. "No that's ok. I'll just have a simple hot chocolate and this lovely lady would like…" he trailed off.

"Umm I'll have the white chocolate mocha cappuccino. No whipped cream." I avoided eye contact and instead focused intently on taking out the money I would use to pay for the beverages.

"Ok. Your total will be fourteen dollars and ten cents."

I was counting out the money when I heard her open up the cash register and put something in. My head shot up and saw that she was already giving Edward the receipt and another very friendly smile.

"Did you just pay?" I asked, surprised.

He laughed. "Yes." He grabbed my arm and pulled me away from the front counter, leading me to a table.

"Edward, you didn't have to do that! Now I feel really bad." We sat down and he laughed again.

"I'll tell you what, I'll let you pay me back for your drink if you tell me what you were laughing about before."

I raised an eyebrow. "You still haven't let that go?"

"Nope."

I sighed and crossed my arms, narrowing my eyes. "How do I know you'll keep your promise?" I asked.

"I guess you'll just have to trust me." He smirked handsomely.

My heart seemed to stop for a second and then restart, but my speech seemed to take a while to return.

"I, uh, I just thought it was f-funny that you're such a gentleman. In a, umm, very good way though." I stuttered stupidly. Why I was even talking, I didn't know.

"You find that funny?" He asked curiously.

" See, I told you it wasn't something worth telling." I mumbled. "I don't think I find it funny, exactly. A girl just can't help but laugh when a guy is so polite. You don't see that very often and it's a nice feeling." I felt myself blush profusely so I looked down at my hands that were placed on my lap for a second and then back up again when I felt like it had gone away more or less.

"You know I've never really had a girl appreciate me being polite before. Girls usually complain that a guy needs to be more gentlemanly and what not, but when it actually happens it's like they don't care. That's why a guy loses interest in trying to impress them that way."

I laughed. "So I don't seem like a weirdo by laughing at something that really isn't funny in the first place?"

He shook his head. "Nope. I actually appreciate it. You're not the only one who laughs at it by the way. My cousin Alice finds it funny too."

"And why does she think it's funny?"

"Because by now it's actually a habit. My mom made me attend some ballroom classes when I was smaller and along with that came the etiquette classes. So whenever she gets the chance, she brings it up and it keeps her laughing for hours."

I couldn't help but let out my own laugh as I thought of a young Edward taking ballroom classes. I tried to hold it in, but as I thought about it again another giggle slipped out.

He narrowed his eyes playfully. "That's not laughing that I hear, is it?"

I shook my head and kept a smile on my face. "Nope it's not." He raised an eyebrow and I laughed.

"You know, I'd love for you to meet my family. I think you'd really get along with them." He said suddenly.

I let out a nervous laugh and then bit my lip. "Believe me, I'd love to meet them. But like I've told you before, I'm not very good at meeting new people."

"I know. I just think it's a good idea to help you start overcoming that."

I excitedly opened my mouth to tell him that I was starting to overcome it by going over my dad's house today. I'm sure he'd be excited to hear that.

"One hot chocolate and a white chocolate mocha cappuccino." An employee from the shop called out before I could say anything. I looked back and noticed our drinks sitting on the counter. Without thinking, I stood up to get them.

"I'll go get them," I said hurriedly, putting my purse on the chair, which reminded me of something important. "And before I forget, here is the money for my cappuccino." I said, smirking as I placed it on the table.

Edward was about to protest when I shook my head. "You promised." I reminded him. He chuckled and I smiled as I left the table.

Once I returned I placed the drinks and napkins on the table. "Excuse me for a sec. I'm gonna go to the bathroom and clean up a bit." I told Edward once I opened my cappuccino to let it cool while I was gone. Because we had been talking this whole time, I had completely forgotten that I was soaking wet. I had started to shiver when I was standing in line and my damp sweater wasn't helping.

He nodded and I made my way to the bathroom, groaning when I looked in the mirror and noticed my hair was still pretty wet.

The last thing I wanted was to get sick, so I grabbed a paper towel and dried it as much as I could. I tied it up in a ponytail very quick and then moved onto my face. I didn't really wear any make-up but the bags under my eyes seemed to pop out at me today. Or maybe it was just the fact that I knew I was with Edward and felt a little more self-conscious than usual. Either way, I couldn't really do anything about it so I just took off my sweater, glad that I wore a long-sleeve under it, and made my way back to the table.

"Feel better?" He asked sweetly.

I smiled and nodded while I sat down.

"So I know our next session is Monday, but I was just wondering if you wanted to get anything off your chest before then."

I nodded and laughed lightly. "It's kike I was actually going to tell you before I left that I'm actually going to my dad's house tonight to see some old friends. They're practically family but I haven't talked to them…in a long time, so I'm really nervous about going."

"Bella, that really is great." He said, grabbing my hand that was resting on the table and giving it a squeeze. "I know you're nervous, but if you say that they're practically family then there's nothing for you to really be nervous about."

I shook my head. "But it really has been a long time. They were there when I was going through the worst of it, and I can't exactly say I was nice to them all the time. I literally pushed myself away from anyone who gave me a pity look or tried to talk to me about it. It was just the way I wanted to deal with it."

Pouring out my feelings in a coffee shop was the last thing I expected to do today. The weird thing was that I didn't even mind. Talking to Edward was already making me feel better. Spilling out all your worries didn't seem so bad when you had someone to talk to about it.

"They only did because they thought it would help _you_. They obviously care about you Bella, and now they know that trying to help is the last thing you want. People learn quickly and I'm sure that they'll be so happy to see you that giving you a pity look is the last thing they'll be doing."

I smiled because everything he said made complete sense. It didn't sound like something rehearsed or taken out of a book, but instead something he really thought was the problem for me. And it was. "You know I was actually looking forward to seeing them, and now with your reassurance it just seems so much better." I meant what I had just said. The worry and anxiousness had died down and I knew that I could go through this because I was starting over. It was my Billy and Jacob for crying out loud! I shouldn't be worried about seeing them!

"I'm glad I can help. I really am proud of you Bella. I know you're really trying to get past this chapter, and I know you can get through it."

I laughed lightly. "I don't want this to sound cheesy but, I don't think this would be easy if I were doing it on my own. I'm glad I have someone I can talk to about all of this."

He smirked. "See, I knew you'd like my therapy skills."

We both began to laugh and I shook my head.

I took my phone out and noticed we had about an hour to get to class. "Umm, do you mind if I ride with you for school today. I know we have the same class but I don't think walking would be a good idea."

"Of course." He chuckled.

We grabbed our drinks and walked outside. I shivered violently once I got into the car. Edward noticed and he turned up the heater.

"You cold?"

I nodded. "Ya, but my sweaters too damp to wear. Wearing a thin long sleeve was not a good idea." I shivered again.

I rubbed my hands up and down my arms to try and gain some heat when I felt Edward put his jacket lightly over my arm.

"Edward no. I'm sure your cold too and we're almost to class anyways."

"Bella I'd rather you be warm and not get a cold, just please put it on." He said sweetly.

The way he was looking at me was enough for me to nod mutely and slip it on. I inhaled the sweet scent that was coming off the jacket and wrapped it around myself even tighter. It was big on me anyway so I tried to be subtle about it.

His scent was something like I'd never smelled before. So much better than any cologne or perfume I had ever smelled. I actually felt a bit crazy when I realized I was trying to get a whiff every few minutes. Yes, that wasn't weird at all Bella…

* * *

><p>Class, like all the other times, held nothing very exciting and important today. She quickly talked about a group project we were going to work on in a couple of weeks, and then assigned us a couple of chapters to read from a book we would have a test on soon.<p>

It felt like a long time before class ended, but soon enough Edward was already dropping me off at my apartment building.

"Thank you for the ride, or should I say rides." I blushed.

"No problem Isabella. It was my pleasure."

"Hey, you know I don't like my first name." I glared as he chuckled. I was taking off his jacket to give it back when he grabbed my hand.

"You can give it back to me on Monday. It's still pretty cold outside."

"My apartment building is right out front. I won't get sick if I walk a couple steps to my-"

"Please Bella. I really don't mind."

Again with the eyes! I swear, those emerald green eyes could get you to do anything!"

I sighed loudly. "Yes sir." I said, saluting him as I got off the car.

He laughed loudly and handed me my bags before I closed the door. "I'll see you soon Bella."

I nodded. "K."

I waved goodbye to him and watched as he drove off.

* * *

><p>At seven thirty on the dot, I was standing outside my dad's house with the cake I had baked with the time I had left at home.<p>

To get here, I had taken a bus and then walked the rest of the way. I didn't really mind. I needed time to just think and calm down completely before coming.

I breathed in a deep breath and let it out as I rang the doorbell. The nerves had come back a bit but keeping Edward's words in my head kept me calm. He was right, seeing them again was enough to make me happy. And that was the only emotion I should be concentrating on.

My dad smiled widely and I lifted up the cake. "I brought you your favorite." I said. I felt like I had to break the ice somehow.

He laughed and opened up the door to give me a hug. "I'm so glad you came Bells." He whispered to me.

"I am too dad."

He pulled back and gestured for me to come in. "Billy, Jake. Bella's here."

I bit my lip and waited them to come out from the kitchen, where I knew they'd be if my dad ordered pizza. Despite that, it didn't take long for them to come out.

I was ready for this though. I was ready to begin the relationships I had put on hold for a long time.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well I hope you guys like this one! It's just some Edward and Bella "fluff"! Promise more of the drama will come next chapter. **

**Love you guys,**

**Edward Is My Lullaby**


	5. Chapter 5:Trying to Mend What is Broken

**DISCLAIMER: STEPHENIE MEYER OWNS ALL THINGS TWILIGHT!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 5:Trying to Mend What is Broken<p>

"Good morning." I said as I entered work. The bell above my head jingled as the door closed.  
>"Hey." Angela greeted back politely as she arranged some books in the back.<p>

After putting m stuff away, I went toward a cart piled almost sky high with books atop it. I groaned and gave a loud sigh.

"Tired?" Ang asked with a giggle, walking to the front to get another stack of books.

I nodded with a slight pout and she laughed lightly. "Well what time did you head to bed?"

I sighed again and grabbed my own stack of books to put away. "I got home around ten from my dad's and then had a hard time falling asleep, so I really don't know."

_The constant nightmares didn't really help either_, I thought to myself.

"Oh. Did the dinner with your dad at least go well?"

That question was enough to make me smile. "It went really well."

_Flashback._

"Bella!" Jake yelled as he came out from the kitchen.

My eyes widened slightly when I saw how much bigger and taller he had gotten. He'd already been taller than I was the last time I'd seen him, but now he just looked monstrous. He was intimidating.

His jet-black hair was tied into a ponytail, like I'd always remember it being, it was just shorter than before. I recognized the cut-off jeans and plain white t-shirt he loved wearing. Even in this weather it didn't really bother him.

My first reaction was to shy away and not even look in his direction, but then I thought about the reason of why I was here, so instead I waved awkwardly.

He ignored my sorry excuse of a greeting, surprising me when he actually lifted me up and gave me a bone-crushing hug.

I laughed lightly and closed my eyes, bringing my arms around him and squeezing just as hard. "I've missed you." He whispered in my ear.

Tears sprung to my eyes and I buried my face in his neck, breathing in the familiar musky scent that was Jacob.

My throat felt tight and uncomfortable when I suddenly realized how badly I had missed him. He was my best friend, and I had pushed him away at a time that I probably needed him the most. And now that I discovered how stupid I had been, I had a new goal in mind: to never push him out of my life again.

I let out a small sob and let a few tears escape. They were of both joy and sadness, but I couldn't exactly decide between the two just yet.

Jake rubbed my back soothingly and let me take a couple deep breaths until I pulled myself together. This was supposed to be a happy greeting, not a repeat of all those months he had seen me crying when he came over. He had enough memories of that. It was time to make some new ones.

I loosened my hold on him and laughed. "Losing my air supply Jacob." I mumbled in between his neck and shoulder blade. He laughed lightly, remembering our own little inside joke, which I would say whenever he hugged me too tightly. Some memories were good enough to bring back.

He put me down and I smiled sadly. "I've missed you too."

I wiped away the tears on my face and he sighed. "Just promise not to do that to me again."

I nodded quickly. "I promise."

In return he gave me a radiant smile. "In that case, we have a lot to catch up on."

I laughed. "Yes we do." I agreed, before looking over his shoulder and seeing my dad and Billy. They were both smiling happily at us as I walked over to greet him.

"Hey Billy." I said softly as I went over to give him a hug.

"How have you been?" he asked softly in my ear.

I pulled back and smiled lightly. "Better than before."

"I'm very glad to here that."

I nodded.

"Okay, enough of the sad greetings," My dad said loudly. I laughed, knowing he was just as bad as me when it came to emotional moments. He just became uncomfortable. "You hungry Bells?"

_No._ "Uh, sure dad. You order pizza?" I asked him as I followed him into the kitchen. I knew he'd be angry if I had said I wasn't hungry. It was dinner time so he knew I hadn't eaten since lunch.

Jacob rubbed his belly and grinned. "He sure did." He replied, answering my question.

Charlie and Billy grabbed a plate with their food on it and headed back into the living room to watch the game.

Jacob grabbed a plate and piled about three on there, sitting at the table in the kitchen. I followed his lead but instead grabbed two smalls ones and sat at the dinner table.

I laughed lightly as I watched him scarf the first one down.

"Come on Bells, aren't you hungry?

I scrunched my nose. "A little."

He chuckled. "Ya, you look like you're starving." He replied sarcastically. I laughed again and hit his shoulder.

It was funny how easily we were able to fall back to how things were before. Not everything was the same, I was still holding back from saying too much, but it was way better than I had expected.

After a couple of minutes of silent eating, Jacob stretched and rubbed his stomach in content.

I had slowly eaten one of the two pizzas on my plate, and I didn't think I was up for eating the other one.

"YES! YES!" I heard both Charlie and Billy scream out. I had jumped pretty hard, so I glared at Jacob when he started to laugh at me.

"Well we're never gonna get a conversation going if they interrupt us like that. What do you say we go out to the porch and talk?" he asked.

He was already getting up from his seat so the only choice I had was to say yes. "Ok."

I grabbed my purse and walked outside, pulling my jacket tighter around me when I felt the cold breeze blow at us as we opened the door.

The porch light was already on, but a few rays of sun were still out. The sun was setting beautifully, and I admired it as we sat down.

"That's really pretty." Jake said slowly when he saw me looking up at the sky.

I nodded. "It is." The nerves in my stomach seemed to get stronger the longer I stayed quiet, so I was dying for him to start a conversation already.

"So Charlie told us you've been going to therapy." Just not with that question…

I stiffened and looked at him. I recognized the sad glint in his eyes that I'd learned to see on everyone. That was enough for me to put up the wall I had slowly put down over the last hour. "Ya, I started a couple weeks ago." I said simply.

"And is that helping?'

I shrugged. "Mhmm."

I looked away and grabbed my bag, pretending to look for something instead of completely answering his question. I knew I wasn't being very convincing when I heard him give a loud sigh.

Then again, what in the hell could I possibly need right now for me to rummage through my purse? He wasn't stupid to fall for what I was trying to pull.

"Bells, you promised you weren't going to do that again?"

I didn't look up, but instead kept rummaging through my purse. Might as well keep going through with it. It gave me a reason to not look at him. "Do what?"

He grabbed my hand to keep me from moving it any longer, and kept hold of it as he lifted my chin up. "Push me away. Just like you're doing now."

I moved my head away from his hand and pulled my arm back. "Well then why are you looking at me like that?" I asked angrily.

"Looking at you like what?" He said confused.

"Like you feel sorry for me Jacob," I said a little louder. "I don't need the pity looks anymore! I don't need you to think about me as the depressed girl who lives her life in a damn hole all the time! I'm trying! Yes, I'm going to therapy so I can live my life like I used to! But it's hard! You don't know what its like to feel this…this void everywhere you go! But I'm trying. And getting those looks from everyone around me isn't going to motivate me to try harder!" I finished.

By the end, I was breathing a little hard and most of what I had built up on my way here was gone. I didn't really know where the anger came from but it certainly had felt good.

I gave a dry laugh and shook my head. "But what's the good in trying to tell someone how you feel if they're just going to ignore it." I said when I noticed the same emotion planted on his face. I stood up to leave when he grabbed my hand and pulled me back down.

"Bella, what you see on my face right now, the emotion I'm giving you right this moment, _is_ sadness, but not in the way you think."

I gave a tired sigh. "What are you talking about?"

There was suddenly anger placed in his eyes too. "You don't think it was hard for me too? To see the way you had become after it happened? I couldn't even look at you without receiving a death glare. It was like you were pushing me away because you thought I was going to make it worse by trying to talk to you about it."

_That's exactly what I thought…_

His eyes softened and the sadness returned. "But that's the exact opposite of what I wanted to do. I just wanted to help. But the closer I got in trying, the further you pushed yourself away, so I just stopped. I stopped trying to help you in any way I could because I saw how much you didn't want me around. That pain was much more worse than seeing you everyday."  
>A sudden lump rose in my throat and my chest felt tight. I felt so guilty…<p>

"It was so hard to come over and see you in the same exact state you were in the day before." He breathed in a shaky breath and closed his eyes.

I had never seen Jacob near tears before. Ever. I'd known him since we were kids and it was always hard to get him to cry. That just proved how much I had hurt him too. Just like I had done to my dad.

"So, the look you hate so much isn't because I feel sorry for you Bella. It's because I regret not trying harder to be there. It's been more than a year and we've missed so much of each other's lives and I always think that if I would have been stubborn enough to be here everyday and get you to open up then that wouldn't have happened."

I wiped away a tear and sat closer to him. I grabbed one of his hands and squeezed it, just like Edward had done earlier today for comfort. "Even if you would have been stubborn enough to stay I wouldn't have said a word. I was too hurt to think about anyone else, and the anger and sadness is what took over the most. I'm glad you didn't have to stay and see all of that Jake."

He shook his head. "It still doesn't take away the fact that we haven't talked each other in over a year. I should have at least been stubborn about that. Call you at least every other day. Leave you voice messages if I had too," He chuckled lightly. I laughed along with him and wiped away more of the tears I couldn't hold in anymore. "Do something so you would know that I still cared."

"Hearing all this now let's me know that you care. That's all I need Jacob." I stated with confidence.

He looked at me for a couple seconds and then put his arm around me for a hug. I leaned into his side and gave a loud sigh.

"Ok. I just don't want it to happen again."  
>I shook my head. "It won't." We were quiet for a couple minutes. Just letting all that had been said really make us realize the way things were before were not right. It was time to start behaving like we used too.<p>

"Ugh!" I said, sitting up straight again and wiping the tears off my face for good. "No more of these sad conversations! You've already made me cry twice today and seeing you on the verge of tears is a _sign_ we need to stop!" I laughed. It felt good to make a joke.

His mouth dropped open and his eyes became wide. "I was not on the verge of tears _Isabella_!" He teased, putting emphasis on my name.

I glared playfully. He knew I didn't like my full name just as well as I did. "Were too _Jacob_!" I mimicked. I began to laugh. "A couple more minutes and you would have been on the floor."

He rolled his eyes. "Please Bella. With all this muscle and testosterone goin' on, crying isn't even a possibility."

He smirked playfully and it was my turn to roll my eyes. "One day I will get you to cry and then all that testosterone will turn into estrogen. Won't be that hard."

He laughed loudly. "I'm up for the challenge Bells."

We both laughed together a bit more before we stopped and I gave him a smile. "So, we talked about me. How's everything going for you?" I bit my lip, curious as to what his answer would be. This kid could be up to anything.

He gave me a light laugh. "Don't think we're done talking about you, but it's been really good. Much more than good actually," His smile grew much bigger, big enough for me to raise my eyebrows, along with a far away look in his eyes.

"Well tell me!" I said impatiently. I laughed as I shook his arm and made him snap back to the present.

I bit my lip as I waited and he blushed. "I umm…I've been dating someone for quite some time now, and I think I'm actually...I'm actually in love."'

I stared at him in shock for a couple seconds, until a wide smile spread onto my face. "In love?" I repeated slowly, still in the 'hard to believe' state.

He nodded. "I really love her Bella. She's just so great and beautiful and smart and…"

"Whoa whoa whoa buddy!" I laughed. "Why don't you tell me her name before you begin with the details."

He chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. "Her name is Shauna."

"Shauna…" I repeated, still trying to get it through my brain that Jacob had just said the "L" word. "Has Billy met her?"

He nodded, but then grimaced a bit. "Yes. You're dad's even met her. We've been together for five months now. It'll be our six-month anniversary a week from tomorrow."

I realized what the grimace was for, but decided that I wasn't going to be sad about it. I was going to take the consequences for my actions. Even though I was a bit jealous at the fact that even my dad had met her.

Instead, I wanted him to know how happy I was for him. My eyes lit up at the thought of what he'd just told me. "And you love her?"

"I do," He admitted confidently. I could clearly see it in his eyes, in his smile, his voice. He was definitely head over heels about this girl. "And you know me. I've had girlfriends but never long enough to feel this strongly about them."

"I know. I still can't believe you're even telling me this right-" I stopped when I realized the most important part of this whole conversation. "Wait, when are you planning on telling her?"

He shrugged and suddenly his facial expression became one of nervousness. "I don't even know. I'm having trouble coming up with that part."

He grinned up at me again and I narrowed my eyes. I knew that face. He wanted something. "What?"

"Maybe you should help me Bells! I'm sure you can come up with something special."

I was already shaking my head before he'd even finished. "Nope. Not a chance Jake. This has to come completely from you."

"Oh come on Bella! Imagine just how appreciative I'll be if you help me."

"Nice try kid." I laughed. "Your on your own for this one. On the bright side, imagine how great it'll be when I tell her you came up with it all by yourself."

He sighed but nodded. "Ya you're right. I'm just gonna have to put thought into it. "

"Which brings me into my next question…when do I get to meet her?" I asked lightly with a smile.

He blinked in surprise. "You'd want to meet her?"

I frowned. "Why wouldn't I want to meet her?"

He sighed. "I just didn't think you'd…want to." His voice became lower toward the end and I looked down at my lap.

"I told you I was trying Jacob. The idea does make me really nervous but its just part of the process. I can't keep putting myself in this shell of a life I've created. And I promised, no more pushing you away."

I looked up and saw the toothy grin on his face. It was enough to make me smile again. "Whenever you want Bells."  
>"Good." I agreed with a final nod.<p>

"So what about you?" He asked, nudging my arm.

"Umm, what about me?" I was confused with the tone of his voice.

"Is there anyone I should know about?"

I blushed and glared at him, smacking his arm.

"Ouch!" he laughed. "What was that for?"

"No, there isn't someone you should know about!" I clarified. "I'm not exactly ready for something like that. We're not all in the lovey dovey stage of our lives." I mumbled out quickly.

I started to mess around with my purse again, looking through everything I had in it. I frowned when I saw what looked like a napkin at the very bottom.

"Well there must be someone you at least _like_. Seattle's pretty small Bells, I'm sure there's at least one guy you've seen that's attracted your attention."

I grabbed the napkin and pulled it out, my frown becoming deeper when I opened it to reveal some money. I looked at the napkin and realized there was something written on it.

_Bella,_

_Wouldn't have been much of a gentleman if I'd accepted this. I wouldn't want you to think that I don't actually possess that quality when I know you like it and I was more than happy to treat you. _

I smiled when I realized who this was from and let out a laugh.

_I'm actually enjoying this a lot and hope we get to do it again very soon. Until then, I'll be happy to see you this coming Monday. Can't wait to have another therapy session with you! Well I'm sure you'll be coming out of the bathroom soon so I think I should wrap it up or I'll just keep writing! Hope you have a great day!_

_ Edward_

I smiled widely once I finished reading it and then looked at Jacob. "Ya, maybe I do." I just didn't know if that's a good thing…

_End Flashback_

"I'm glad you had fun." Angela responded.

I nodded again and continued to put books back where they belonged.

"Oh, Bella!"

"Ya?" I asked, turning around to look at Angela as she walked to me.

"Before I forget to tell you, I can't go to dinner with you this Saturday." She said apologetically.

I frowned lightly. "Oh." I was actually very disappointed that she couldn't go. It was hard enough to ask her, and now that she was telling me this I felt like she was just backing out because she thought it would be awkward. That was _my_ exact fear…so in a way it was…good?

I didn't want her to feel bad about it either though. She didn't have to feel obligated. "That's ok Angela. We'll just do it some other time." I answered.

She shook her head, her forehead pulled together in apology. Or maybe not. Maybe she did want to go to dinner with me. "No, I was really looking forward to going but I had completely forgotten that I had something planned for Saturday already. It's kind of an all day thing."

"Really. It's ok. I'm sure we'll find some other day we can both go."

"Well that's what I was thinking. If you don't have anything planned for tonight, would you like to go to this new restaurant that just opened up? It's supposed to be really nice and it's not too far from here." She suggested.

I actually had nothing to do tonight but sit home alone and watch TV tonight. Going would be a much better choice then that. "That sounds great. Tonight it is then."  
>She smiled happily. "Great."<p>

I just hoped tonight would go better than how I was feeling at the moment…

* * *

><p>After closing up the store, Angela and I walked outside together to talk about the directions and stuff. She had just finished telling me how nice of a restaurant it was, so the jeans and a t-shirt I was wearing weren't really going to cut it. I was worried about what I was going to change into though. I hadn't worn a dress in so long. It was going to be impossible for me to find something.<p>

Angela had been nice enough to give a ride to and from work this morning. My car still wasn't working, and I was too embarrassed to call Edward just yet. If I didn't want to pay a lot of money though, I was going to have to sum up the courage and ask him eventually. Just not now… So for the mean time, I'd been taking the bus to work, until Angela found out I was car-less and offered to give me a ride. Another reason I needed to ask him. I didn't want her having to drive all the way to my house and back to hers.

"I'll see you in a bit then." I replied, getting off her car and walking to my apartment building.

Once I arrived home, I decided to take a quick shower and shave my legs. After I was finished, I put some mousse in my hair and let it air dry so it would be wavy by the time I had to leave.

I hadn't worn make-up in such a long time, so I decided to settle for a bit of mascara and eyeliner. The eye shadow would have to come after I decided something to wear.

"Ugghhhhhh!" I cried out in frustration. I had absolutely _nothing _to wear! The only dress I had was from a couple years ago that I knew wouldn't fit me.

I bit my lip in worry and then decided to do the only thing I could.

"Angela?" I asked into my cell phone a couple minutes later.

"Bella? What's wrong?" She really sounded like she was worried so I blushed for making it seem like something important, the exact tone of my voice when I had answered the phone.

"Nothing, nothing," I said quickly. "I was just wondering if…if I could borrow a dress for tonight. I just realized that I don't have one that's appropriate for the restaurant." More like, I don't have one at all!

I heard her laugh lightly. "Of course Bells. I'll bring one over that I'm sure will fit you. It's exactly right for tonight."

I gave a sigh of relief. "Thank you so much Angela. I really owe you one."

"Happy to help Bella. See you in half an hour."

"Bye." I hung up.

It didn't take much longer for Angela to arrive after that and the nerves in my stomach had seemed to die down a bit. It was the dress she had been holding when she walked in that stirred them up again, and made me feel like I didn't want to do this anymore. She had to convince me to even go into the bathroom and try it on.

"Are you sure it doesn't look strange?" I asked self-consciously, looking at my reflection in the mirror as I studied the dress clinging onto my body.

"I promise you it doesn't! You look really pretty." Angela assured me. I couldn't help but believe her. She was the most truthful person I had ever met. The thought made me feel a bit better.

The dress she had brought wasn't exactly what I'd had in mind. It was your classic "little black dress" but in a more modest way. It did hug my body, but at least it wasn't very short, it was almost down to my knees, and instead if it being _completely _strapless it had two thin straps holding it up.

She'd brought me heels along with the dress, and to my disappointment, they fit. It's not that I didn't want to borrow her heels; I just thought simple black flats would be better. I was a walking nightmare when I wore heels and wearing them for the first time in a _very_ long time, made me _very_ nervous.

I only felt better when I noticed Angela wearing a nice red dress similar to mine, but a little shorter. It wasn't too revealing, but unlike mine, it was strapless. She was also wearing heels along with her dress, so it didn't make me feel too out of place.

"Want me to do a light, smoky eye?" She asked nicely.

I bit my lip, thinking. "No, that's okay. I think I'll just put some lipstick on and then we can go."

I felt bad saying no, but I didn't want to go over the top. This was something I hadn't done in a while, and though I felt very strange, I couldn't help but think I was glad I was going through it with someone I had known very well.

_Why are you nervous anyway Bella?_ I thought to myself as I put on my denim jacket and walked out of my apartment door. The sun was no longer out, and the clouds seemed to be peacefully floating in the sky.

I smiled, that should be the way I felt. Peaceful. I was making it out to be something much bigger than what it was. Yes, I was going to dinner with someone who used to be my best friend, but that was what made me so proud of myself.

I was trying. Just like with Jake. And even if this didn't go well, I was glad that trying would be what was most important.

"This will be fun. It's supposed to be a really good restaurant." She said as we both got into my car.

I nodded, not exactly sure if she was reassuring herself or me. Then again, I did have to stop thinking that she was only going out with me because she felt bad. Angela wasn't that type of person, so I needed to stop thinking of her like she was.

After about twenty minutes, we arrived to a nice building, big enough to hold what seemed like a very nice restaurant. Just like Angela had described.

Lights were strewn around it beautifully, and at the top it read _Midnight Sun_ in elegant writing.

"This really is a nice place." I argued.

"Really packed place too. I don't even think we'll find a parking space close." Angela mumbled, looking around her for any place we could park. Now that I noticed, there were a lot of people heading toward the restaurant. Anything new in Seattle always attracted attention.

I groaned lightly. Parking far meant walking. Walking meant, I was either going to break something tonight, or make a complete ass out of myself. All because I was wearing heels.

After driving about a block down, we finally found a suitable parking spot for her car. It wasn't as far as I thought we'd have to park, but it wasn't as close as I'd like it to be. I pulled my jacket tighter around me, and wrapped my arms around myself. I kept my eyes on the floor as I walked, but still made sure Angela's now familiar heels stayed in front of me.

When we finally arrived to the restaurant, we were quickly seated, much more quickly than I thought, but then again we were only two people. It was already filled with people, chatting away and eating.

"Here are your menus ladies. I will be back in a couple minutes so you can order your drinks." Our waitress said nicely. We both nodded and I opened mine up to see what looked appetizing.

"I can't believe we were seated this quickly." Angela said.

"I know. There's still a really long line outside. I thought we would have to wait for a while."

"I'm glad we didn't." She laughed. "Most people are waiting outside and it's starting to get cold. Dresses aren't very suitable for that type of weather."

"They aren't," I agreed. "Heels aren't either."

She laughed a little more loudly this time. "Especially for you. I remember you tripping during our senior year when we went…"  
>Her voice drifted off when she saw my face. I wasn't able to stand the shock of pain that went through my body as she mentioned that dreadful year. I couldn't hide the grimace on my face, and she had obviously noticed it.<p>

"I'm sorry Bella, I didn't mean to-" She tried apologizing.

Only I didn't let her. "It's ok," I shook my head. "It's not your fault. I didn't mean to react that way, I just haven't exactly..." I trailed off too, not exactly sure what to say.

She sighed and I could see in her face that she truly felt sorry. I bit my lip. Ten minutes of being here and I could already see this heading the wrong way. If I wanted this to go well, I was going to have to be honest.

"Angela," I began. She looked up and I swallowed hard. "I…I don't want you to watch your words around me." I looked down and clasped my hands together, squeezing for comfort. "I'm trying to live my life the way I used too, and I know that it's not possible to be the exact same way as before but it's better than feeling like I can't speak to you." I didn't exactly know what else to say, so I looked up.

She was smiling at me. When she saw me look at her she nodded. "Of course Bella. That's why I was so happy that you had invited me out in the first place. I want it to be the way it was before too."

I smiled back at her and laughed lightly. "Good. So no more awkwardness, ok?"

She laughed too and nodded again.

_That was easier than I thought._

"Are you ready to order something to drink?"

I looked up and noticed the waitress had returned. I hadn't even heard her walk up.

"I'll have a strawberry lemonade." Angela answered.

She turned to me. "A coke, please?"

She nodded as she wrote it down. "Would you like me to take your order for you now, or do you need a couple more minutes?"

I blushed slightly when I realized we hadn't even looked at the menu. "Just a couple more minutes."

She smiled and nodded, walking away to get the drinks we had just ordered.

"What are you going to order?" Angela asked about two minutes later.

Nothing on here really called my attention. The meals seemed too big for someone who wasn't very hungry anyways. I shrugged. "I think I'll just have the chicken tenders and a salad."

She laughed.

"What?" I asked, a little giggle of my own slipping out. I put the menu down to look over at her.

"Chicken tenders?" She asked, putting her own menu down.

I nodded. "They sound good."

We both laughed lightly again. "What are you ordering?" I asked.

"Steak, with a side of mash potatoes and vegetables."

"Sounds good." I lied. That didn't sound appetizing to me at all.

"Ready to order?" Beatrice, the name I had just read off her nametag, asked.

We both nodded, me looking down at the menu to decide what kind of sauce I wanted with my chicken as Angela told her what she wanted.

"And for you ma'am?"

"I'll have the chicken tenders with some honey mustard sauce," I looked up. "And a Caesar salad on the-"

I stopped mid-sentence when I saw a familiar pair of green eyes sit at the table across from us. I followed the arm that was looped around his own and frowned slightly when I saw the beautiful strawberry blonde that was sitting next to him. Along with them were six other people, three woman and three men. _Must be his family…_

"Bella?" Angela asked. I jumped lightly at the sound of my name and blushed.

"I'm sorry. I'll uh, I'll have the Caesar salad on the side."

"Ok. You'll food will be here shortly."

"Are you ok?" Angela asked worriedly when Beatrice left.

I nodded, the blush returning again. "Ya, I just got distracted. I know someone who just walked in." I allowed my eyes to glance toward his direction again, smiling when I saw him laugh at something.

I didn't notice Angela follow my train of sight until she giggled. I blushed. "Is it him?"

I nodded.

"Well he's very handsome."

My eyes slid over toward his direction. I nodded again, this time slower.

"Do you want to go say hello?"

I looked at Angela again and shook my head quickly. "No. I'd rather not." If I did walk over to greet him, which I was too much of a chicken to do in the first place, then I would have to meet whomever he was with and that wasn't something I was up for. But most importantly, I didn't want this to distract me from the person I was supposed to be paying attention too.

"Are you sure?"

I nodded again, much more confidently. "Ya."

"Here we are. Chicken tenders with a salad, and a steak. Can I get you ladies anything else?"

We both shook our heads. "No thank you." Angela replied.

We made conversation for a while as we ate, learning the new things about that I hadn't known changed since we went to high school.

Like now I just learned she'd been dating Ben for two years now. Ben had actually been another of my good friends during school. I hadn't seen him in a very long time.

"That's why I can't go out with you on Saturday." She explained. "I said yes so quickly without thinking because I was excited, but I didn't realize that would be our three year anniversary."

I laughed. "I'm glad you remembered. I'm sure Ben has something very special planned out for you."  
>She blushed. "He won't tell me what we're doing, but he always goes over the top. Not that I mind it though."<p>

We both giggled lightly. "That's great Angela. I really am happy for you."

"Thank you," She replied sincerely. "What about you? I'm sure there's someone who has a crush on you, or vice versa." She smiled.

What was it with this question? I'd been asked this twice in two days. I shook my head. "No. There's no one." I sighed.

Angela bit her lip. "I'm sure there is Bella, you just haven't noticed." She laughed then. "I remember Mike used to have this big crush on you."

"Mike?" I asked. He'd always been really nice to me, but I only thought it was because he was a good friend.

She nodded. "Jessica was so jealous. She liked him so much but he would never pay attention to her."

That really explains a lot. "That's why Jessica glared at me every chance she got. She still does now." I mumbled.

Angela giggled again. "Ya, she wasn't very happy about that."

I shook my head again, not believing what I was hearing.

"What about the guy who just walked in?"

I took a bite of my chicken and shrugged, making it seem like nothing. "He's a good guy but we're just friends." I said once I had swallowed my food. I wasn't ready to tell her he was my therapist either.

"Oh." She said. Her phone rang then and she smiled apologetically.

"Ben?" I asked, laughing.

She nodded. "He's probably calling to say goodnight. I'll be back in a few minutes."

I nodded as she slid out from the booth and walked toward the ladies room, which happened to be in the same direction as Edward's table.

I let my eyes wander in his direction, Angela momentarily blocking him as she walked by their table. When she finally had moved, I let out a small gasp.

I tensed and my eyes widened slightly when I realized he was looking back. His eyes clearly trained on me as his family chatted away. My heart skipped a beat when he smiled crookedly. I felt my body relax and face soften as he did so, my own smile forming itself on my face.

"Hi." He mouthed and I let out a giggle. Giving him a small wave.

He looked away when one of the men at his table called his name. He turned to look at him and responded something to what they'd just asked. He glared then and I frowned, only understanding when everyone at his table turned to look at me.

I felt my face get very hot and I looked away, wishing that Angela would come back already so I would at least have someone to talk to.

I had a feeling I would have to greet them now…

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yes! It worked for this story too! I've been dying to update this story for a long time now but my computer was acting stupid! But now that it has worked, hope you guys enjoy this one! i actually made this one longer than it was supposed to be as a thank you for you all being so patient! No lie, I actually got kind of teary eyed while I wrote the part with Jacob and I was the one writing it! Haha, maybe I was just feeling emotional that day! Anyways, please please please review! It would mean a lot! Love you guys!  
>-Edward Is My Lullaby<strong>


	6. Chapter 6:Meeting and Greeting

**DISCLAIMER: STEPHENIE MEYER OWNS ALL THINGS TWILIGHT!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 6:Meeting and Greeting<p>

**E.P.O.V**

I glared at my brother Emmett as he looked behind him, laughing as Bella blushed and looked away quickly.

"You know her Edward?" Alice asked me, her head turned toward Bella's table as well. It was then that I noticed my whole family was either craning their necks or turned around to try and look at her. One stupid comment from Emmett about me smiling at someone and it turned into this.

I ran a hand over my face and gave a sigh. "Please stop looking over there. You're embarrassing both her and I."

"How do you know her?" Tanya asked with a smile, completely ignoring me.

"She goes to school with me." I shrugged. It wasn't a complete lie, but I didn't think Bella would want me to say I was her therapist. It wasn't very fair of me to tell people something so personal about someone they didn't know. That wasn't my place.

"She's really pretty." My Aunt Esme complimented with a smile.

I let my own smile spread onto my face. "She is."

"Well are you going to introduce us?" Rosalie asked with a smirk. She wasn't very friendly when it came to meeting new people. It usually took a while for her to warm up to someone. Although, I did understand why she was like that…

I ignored her and instead looked at my Uncle Carlisle. "Isn't this supposed to be for Tanya? This is _her_ engagement party."

"Oh stop it. I am grateful for you all planning this small engagement party for me, but let's wait for the gushing and flattery when the real one comes. I'm sure I'll get enough attention then," She grimaced. "Right now I think you should tell us about your new friend."

I gave her a 'you're kidding me look' and she laughed. The last thing I needed was for someone to go along with what Emmett had started. "Aren't you such a good best friend?"

"Wouldn't be one if I didn't care about your life, would I be?"

I chuckled lightly at her come back and looked back at Bella, who was now talking to someone across from her. The sight spread a wide smile across my face. She had gone out with her friend she was telling me about. The sight alone made me so very proud of her. She really was trying.

I couldn't even see her very well from where I was sitting, but just the way she was laughing made her look very beautiful. I could tell she was having a good time.

I felt something hit my leg from under the table. I looked across from me and noticed it had been Alice. She raised an eyebrow and smiled. I only shook my head and glanced back at Bella. Maybe it would be a good idea for me to introduce her to my family.

**B.P.O.V**

"This was such a good dinner!" Angela approved.

I nodded. "Ya, it was. The salad was delicious." Not that I had eaten much of it.

"Would you ladies like any dessert?" Our waiter asked, setting down another glass of coke for me.

"Oh no thank you. We're stuffed," Angela laughed. "Could we just get the check please?"

"Of course. I'll be right back with that."

"This was fun Ang," I said, as soon as the waiter had left. "We should do this again. Maybe you can bring Ben next time. I haven't seen him in such a long time." I suggested shyly. I felt myself blush lightly.

"That sounds great Bella. I'm sure he'd be so happy to see you."  
>I nodded.<p>

"Here you are. Take your time."

I quickly grabbed the check and took out my wallet. Angela gave a huff in front of me.

"Bella, I want to pay for that!"

"Nope. This was my idea so it's my treat. Don't worry about it."

She sighed. "Ok. Thank you. But next time it's my turn."

I smiled at the idea of next time. This hadn't been bad at all.

"Deal."  
>I placed my credit card and the check back on the table, smiling when the waitress passed by and took it. She assured us that it would only be a few minutes so we both got ready to leave. I was about to put my jacket back on when I heard someone give a chuckle. I looked up and instantly became nervous.<p>

"It's very nice to see you here." Edward smiled. I quickly glanced behind him and noticed everyone at his table was with him. He must be leaving already too.

I gave him a shy smile. "Hey. It's nice to see you here too. I thought you weren't into the big, fancy restaurants." I teased. It was one of the many things he'd said to me during our therapy conversations. I knew him way better than I'd thought.

He laughed. "I'm not, but this was a special occasion so big and fancy was necessary."

"Mmm," I replied with a smile. I looked across from me and saw Angela, who was looking back and forth between him and I. I blushed, realizing I had completely forgotten about her and gave her a sorry smile. "Ohh, umm, I'd like to introduce you to my friend Angela."

Edward leaned over and shook her hand. "Nice to meet you."

I bit my lip in nervousness when I realized he would introduce me to his family next. I took in a small breath, _nothing to be nervous about…nothing to be nervous about._

Just then the waitress came through and put my card back on the table. "Thank you for coming to Midnight Sun. Hope you ladies have a good night."

I nodded in acknowledgement and mumbled a thank you.

"Why don't you meet us outside once you girls are all ready? I want to introduce you to my family but its too loud and crowded in here."

I couldn't help but give him a nervous look. "Ok." I said lightly, grabbing my jacket and pulling it on. I guess he'd noticed too, because before he left he squeezed my shoulder in reassurance. I turned to look at him and he gave me a wink, before fully turning his attention to the girl next to him

"He is _very_ handsome." Angela gushed, grabbing onto my arm as we walked toward the door.

I didn't really know what to say so I just let out a laugh.

"You know what, I think I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick before we leave. You can go ahead and go outside. I'll just look for you when I'm done."

I shook my head. There was no way I was going to go out there by myself. "No that's fine. I'll just wait for you by the door."

She nodded before letting go of arm and walking back toward the bathrooms. I sighed as I made my way toward the exit, stopping in a little corner so I could lean against the wall.

I watched people walk by me for a while, lost in my own thoughts. Edward had a big family, and they all seemed very close to one another. I didn't exactly know if the strawberry blonde was part of his family, but a strong feeling told me she wasn't. I had glanced over more times than I can remember, and every time I could see them talking to one another.

I was in such a daze that I jumped lightly when I felt an around go around the side of my waist. I turned around to push whoever's arm was around me but instead blushed when I realized it was Edward.

"Here you are. I thought you'd left." He laughed; giving me the smile I liked so much.

I shook my head. "Of course not. I'm just waiting for Angela to come out of the bathroom."

A couple of people past by us then so we leaned as far as we could into the wall to let them pass, Edward's arm tightened around me so they wouldn't end up taking me with them.

"I've been meaning to ask you, how was your dinner with your dad?"

I looked up at him and gave him a grin. "It was great. I hadn't seen Jacob and Billy in such a long time so it was a nice."

"That makes me very happy Bella."

"I'm happy too. I feel like this weight has been lifted off me. I don't have to be so nervous about seeing them anymore." I bit my lip. "I do have to admit though," I began. "I'm nervous to meet your family."

He twisted my body lightly so I would be facing him, and I let out a sigh. "I know you are. Your look said it all a couple minutes ago." He chuckled.

I playfully rolled my eyes and smiled slightly.

"You have nothing to be nervous about Bella. And I know that's easier said than done, but I promise that everything will be fine. I don't want this to be a fear of yours anymore."

"It's just…meeting new people, you get close to them. They want to know things about you and about your life. And that's what scares me. I'm not ready to let people in that far yet."

"I know. But all your doing today is saying hello. I'll be there the whole time so just look at me if you begin to feel too overwhelmed. They just want to meet you right now. I do have to admit though, my cousins love making friends. So don't be too alarmed if they're much more friendly than you expect." He laughed.

I giggled lightly. "Ok."

I felt his body tense up and I pulled my eyebrows together in question. He was looking over my head at someone, his eyes narrowed.

"What's wrong?"

He looked down at me again. "Looks like you have an admirer. The guy behind you keeps looking at you, and not in a very gentlemanly way."

I turned around and looked just as the creeps eyes trailed up my body. I felt a shiver go down my spine as he winked at me when he finally realized I was looking at him.

I turned around quickly and looked up at Edward. "That's disgusting." I grumbled.

"I can make him go away if you'd like."

I laughed. "Really? And how do you plan on doing that?"

"Well, option one I can go over there and beat him up for being a perv."  
>I quickly shook my head, eyes wide. "No way. What's the second option?"<p>

He pulled me closer than before and rested both his hands on my waist. I felt my eyes widen a little and I let out a small gasp. My first instinct was to back up and put some distance between us, but I knew Edward wouldn't do anything to the point were I felt extremely uncomfortable.

"I don't know if you'll approve of the second option." He whispered in my ear.

I laughed. "And why not?"

"Because it requires you laying your head on my chest and me giving you a kiss on your head."

I backed my head up to look at him and raised an eyebrow. "And you think that will make him go away? He obviously doesn't care that you're with me over here."

"Well I don't think he's seen me yet. He's been looking at you this whole time, so if you go through with my plan I'm sure he'll back off."

I let out a loud sigh. "All this just to make some guy stop looking at me?" I teased.

I was so close to him that I felt his chest rumble with laughter. "He's making _you _uncomfortable. Just trying to help a friend out Bells."

"Ok ok." I finally agreed. He had a point.

I slowly brought my head toward his chest and laid it softly against it. His smell instantly overcame me, so I closed my eyes as I smelled his sweet fragrance.

My arms felt awkward as they dangled near my sides so I lifted them up to wrap them around his neck. The motion made my body lean against his, only becoming closer as he fully wrapped his arms around me.

I felt him give me a long kiss at the top of my head and I let out a sigh of content. Something about this felt so right in the strangest way. It was like I knew I shouldn't be enjoying this as much as I was, but I couldn't seem to pull away.

"I told you so." He whispered again in my ear.

I giggled. "He left?"

He nodded and smirked. "One kiss on the head and a quick glare made him realize you weren't alone."

I pulled back slightly but he didn't move. "I appreciate your help then." I smiled.

"My pleasure."

His arms finally dropped from around me and I stood next to him, chatting quietly as we waited for Angela to come out of the bathroom.

"Sorry I took so long," She apologized as soon as she saw me. "The line was longer than I expected."

"Oh that's perfectly ok." I said, a little happier than I normally sounded. Oh man…I guess that "kiss" made me giddier than I had thought.

She laughed and nodded as we followed Edward out to the front of the restaurant.

I felt his arm behind my back as he guided me lightly toward a group of people.

"Sorry I left you out here guys, but I would like you to meet some new people."

They all turned to look at Angela and I as I smiled politely.

"Bella, Angela, this is my Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle," he began, signaling toward a very pretty woman and a handsome man. Her eyes looked so warm and welcoming that it didn't feel awkward at all when she gave me a hug and a light 'hello'. I cocked my head slightly as I shook the man's hand. He looked very familiar but I couldn't think of where I'd seen him. I would have to think later because Edward was already introducing me to someone else. "This is my cousin Alice and her boyfriend Jasper."

"Hi Bella, it's so nice to meet you." Alice chirped happily. She was beautiful like her mother; they both shared expressive grey eyes and a caring smile.

I laughed at her excitement as she gave me a hug and looked at Edward so he could see I didn't feel overwhelmed like he'd predicted. "It's very nice to meet you too."

I shook Jasper hand as he wrapped his arm around Alice's waist. He was also very good-looking, what with his shaggy blonde hair and crooked grin, he and Alice made a very nice couple.

"My brother Emmett and his girlfriend Rosalie."

"Very nice to meet you squirt!" Emmett practically yelled as he gave me a hug, after he'd patted my head like I was a little kid. He was so big and muscular that I almost felt like I was. The hug he'd given me was nearly as hard as the ones I received from Jacob. I'm sure he wouldn't have a problem hugging me even tighter if he'd known me in a much more personal way. Hmm, the thought made me curious.

I let out a laugh as I hugged him back and realized Edward was rolling his eyes at him.

"Emmett she's not six!"

He shrugged and smiled, two dimples showing in his cheeks. Jeez, _Edward's family are all very good looking_ I thought.

"Couldn't help it bro."

I turned to shake Rosalie's hand when I realized that good-looking would be an understatement for her. Don't get me wrong, everyone was so beautiful and charming, but she was just gorgeous. Just looking at her made me feel intimidated and plain, and I could tell she knew what kind of impact she had on people.

Unlike everyone else, she gave me a small smile and a quick handshake. As soon as her hand was out of mine, she'd flipped her hair and walked over to Emmett's side.

The pairing was so odd to me. Emmett seemed so jolly and happy while she just looked like she didn't want to talk to anyone. It was only when I saw him give her a kiss on her forehead as she looked up at him with a happy smile that I thought they might be very perfect for each other.

"And this is Tanya." Edward smiled as he walked over to the girl I'd seen him all night with. He placed his hands on the small of her back just as he'd done to me moments ago. I don't know why seeing it made me so upset, but I shook the feeling away as she walked toward me.

"Its so nice to meet you Bella." She greeted very nicely.

She extended her left hand out for me to shake when I noticed her ring finger glimmered quickly from the corner of my eye. I looked down and noticed a beautiful engagement ring placed on her finger.

…_this was a special occasion so big and fancy was necessary._ Edward's words rang in my ears.

I looked up quickly before she could think I was ignoring her and shook her hand. "Likewise," I said simply. "It's really nice to meet all of you."

I heard a phone ring and turned to look where it was coming from. Angela gave an apologetic smile and took out her phone. "So sorry, I have to take this." She said. I nodded and she walked away ton talk in private.

"You know, now that we've met, you both should come to Edward's birthday party next week! It'll be a lot of fun." Alice suggested.

Edward shook his head. "No, see, I'm not having a birthday party," He said tome as I laughed. "My crazy cousin here doesn't seem to understand that."

She only rolled her eyes. "Oh come on Edward. Don't be such a grouch and let me throw you a party! You only turn twenty-three once!"

"Not happening Alice."

"Bella I'm sure you can convince him." She said, quickly turning to me.

I laughed and I looked at Edward. "I, uh, I think you should have a party. It would be fun."

He raised an eyebrow and I bit my lip to hide my smile. "I thought you didn't like parties?"

I shrugged. "Your cousin seems to know how to throw some real killer ones." Even though he'd been right, parties were not at all my thing, this seemed to be a good way to break the ice.

Everyone laughed at my comment as Alice responded, "Oh believe me I do."

His face changed from one of amusement to a smirk. I narrowed my eyes when I realized he was about to say something that I wasn't going to be happy to hear. "Ok, fine. I'll let Alice throw me a party, _but_ you have to promise that you'll be there."

"Fine. I promised." I said quickly. I could feel everyone's eyes on me so I couldn't back down. They all laughed again once they heard my answer.

"So that's it then!" Alice clapped her hands as Edward gave me an amused look again. "You're getting a party mister." She pointed at him and then walked gracefully over to me. She wrapped an arm around my shoulders and winked. "I can tell we're going to be great friends Bella." She giggled.

Angela was still on the phone as they said their goodbyes and turned around to walk to their car. It was already pretty late and it was getting colder by the minute.

Edward had decided to stay with me until Angela was finished so I wouldn't have to be alone.

"That wasn't so bad, now was it?"

I shook my head. "Not at all," I smiled. "Your family really is great Edward."

"I'm glad you liked them. They really like you too you know. My mom seemed absolutely taken by you and I swear, Alice thinks she has a new friend."

I laughed, mist coming out from my mouth because it was so cold. "She's great. She's happy and bubbly but it didn't make me feel awkward at all. I think that's something I need in my life at this point." I confessed.

"Then she's the right person for you. Which reminds me! Thanks so much for convincing me to have a party! I don't know what I was thinking by saying no." He said playfully.

"Well your very welcome! I don't know about me showing up though, I-"

"Oh no you don't! You already promised you'd go!"

We both laughed and I nodded. "Ok ok. I guess I can't go back on my word now."

"You can't. You have five other people who heard you agree to my proposition."

"Drat." I grumbled, loud enough for him to hear.

"Very funny Bella," He chuckled. He looked behind me and sighed. "Seems like Angela's finished with her call. She's already walking over here."

I turned my head and saw that she was. She was still talking but I'm sure her conversation was almost over.

I nodded. "She is. You should walk to your car then. Don't want everyone to wait because of me."

"Alright Bella," He laughed lightly. He walked toward me and gave me a hug, my arms wrapping around his neck as he pulled me toward him again. "By the way," he whispered softly into my ear. "I forgot to mention how absolutely stunning you look tonight."

He pulled back as I stood there, _literally_ stunned. "Good night Bella." He smiled crookedly before walking away.

"Hey, so sorry I took long. Ben needed me for something." She frowned when I mumbled an answer. "You ok? You're blushing." Angela laughed.

"Oh, umm, ya. I'm fine. It's just really cold out here that's why my cheeks are red. We should go." I replied, ducking my head so she wouldn't see the tinge in my cheeks.

I was in no way 'fine.' My heart seemed to thump rapidly in my chest every time I repeated his words in my head.

It was only when I remembered he might be engaged that the smile was wiped away from my face in an instant.

* * *

><p><strong>Three days later…<strong>

Monday. That only meant one thing: Therapy with Edward.

The thought didn't make me so nervous as it did the last time I went. It was a chance for me to talk about things I felt uncomfortable talking about with other people.

I walked into the now familiar building and straight to the front desk.

"Hello Bella. Edward's already in your usual meeting place so you can walk right in."

"Thanks Ivy."

I walked down the hall and turned the corner before stopping at a room on my right. I knocked three times on the door before peeking my head in. Edward was over at the desk placing something down.

"Hey." I said since he hadn't heard me.

He whipped his head around I smiled. Seeing a smile in return on his face reminded me of the other night, and suddenly I became a little nervous.

"Hey. You're right on time."

I nodded and looked around, just to see if there was anything set up for me today. "What, no painting today?" I laughed.

He chuckled. "No. I thought today would just be a good day to just…talk."

"Oh." I nodded.

"I will say though, you're drawing was so beautiful, I couldn't resist hanging it up."

He signaled toward the far wall behind me and I gasped. "Edward! That is not funny!" I yelled, running over to look at it.

He laughed again. "I didn't do it to be funny. I just really like it."

I knew that the smile on his face was sincere, but at the same teasing. He obviously found my reaction to be entertaining.

"I don't! So it's coming down now." I stated, reaching up to take it down from the wall.

"I don't think so Miss Swan."

He grabbed my hand and brought it down, holding it tightly so I wouldn't be able to reach up again.

"Edward," I whined. "It looks like a three year old drew it and it's going to be really embarrassing if someone comes in here and sees it!"

He laughed lightly and I pouted slightly. "Bella, it does not look like a three year old drew it." He tried to convince me.

I scoffed as I looked up at it again and grimaced.

"Besides, no one can come into _my _office without permission."

I looked back at him quick, eyes wide and a smile on my face. "What do you mean?"

"Mr. Hawkins is letting me keep the room to work in. Whether it's for this," he pointed to us both, "or to do homework. He wants to see how it goes with you and I so, if it does go well, he can start assigning me more clients to work with." He shrugged. I knew he was studying this for a living so I was happy for him.

"That's great Edward!"

He nodded and laughed. "Thank you."

"Is that why you're putting up all these picture frames?" I asked as I walked over to the small desk in the far end.

I looked at the pictures, quickly noticing Emmett and Alice. I saw his Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle, and another of all of them, including Rosalie and Jasper. It was only when I got to one of Tanya that I turned back to look at him.

"Ya. He even let me choose between this room and the one we used for our first session. But once I told him you preferred this one, it was enough for him to agree to give me this one."

I cocked my head to the side. "You told him I like this one?"

"Yes. You do, don't you? Because I can tell him I want the other one if you'd like. I just thought you didn't like the walls and-"

"No no, Edward. I really like this one." I laughed. I was flattered that he'd thought about me over a room. It was a nice feeling to be considered for such a small decision.

"Ok. I just want you to be comfortable Bella."

"I am." I smiled.

**E.P.O.V**

She sat down in front me after glancing at her painting one more time. I laughed quietly when I noticed the frown placed on her face again, but there was no way I was going to let her take it down. Despite her thinking I was lying, I really did like her painting. The fact that it came from her wasn't such a bad excuse either, but I thought she'd be weirded out if I'd said that.

I looked at her as she sighed on the couch, my thoughts going back to when I saw her at dinner just a few nights ago. She looked gorgeous in the dress she'd been wearing. Her hair seemed to flow down to her shoulders, and even though she seemed to have trouble walking in heels, she still managed to make it look elegant. And although it had taken all the courage in me to tell her how beautiful she looked, it had been worth it.

I also thought about the jerk that'd been looking at her like she was a piece of meat. The thought alone was enough to make me angry again. I had hid it well from Bella, but it was the first option I had been leaning more toward against. I couldn't say I had any trouble going through with the second though.

Bella really was a beautiful girl, both inside and out, and even though I could still she was hurt on the outside, it didn't take away the beauty she held on the inside.

Her eyes still seemed to have the look of lost sleep at night, and the way she held herself together showed me just how much she tried to hide what she didn't want people to see. I was determined to break that now more than ever.

"Oh! I forgot to tell you that I found your note the other day!" She said suddenly. She narrowed her eyes and glared at me playfully as I laughed.

"Did you really?" I said simply.

"Yes. I didn't appreciate you giving me my money back. You had agreed to let me pay you back for my drink."

"Like my note said, I didn't want you to think I wasn't a gentleman by letting you pay." I smirked.

"So does that mean you're a liar then?" She challenged, eyebrow raised and her own smirk in place.

I laughed loudly and leaned against the desk, crossing my arms. I winked at her and the smirk fell from her face. "I guess that's for me to know and you to find out."

She frowned and threw one of the pillows from the couch at me. "Ha ha. Very clever Edward."

I chuckled again and went to sit next to her instead of across. She turned so she would be facing me and we began to talk.

We talked for so long that we ended up using all our time, and when we looked up at the clock it was already time for her to leave.

"I'll bet you then," she said as she got up to head out the door. I followed her lead and laughed. "We'll have a contest to see if your brownies are better than my chocolate cake."

"Only if we have judges though." I said seriously.

"Of course." She replied back just as seriously, as if this were a real important contest or something. "You are so going to lose." She giggled finally.

"I think I'll take my chances _Isabella_."

She narrowed her eyes. "Now it's really on."

Before talking about our favorite dishes to bake or who could make certain things better, we were talking about things we hated the most (how we had gotten from that topic to the other, I didn't remember). She didn't even wait five seconds after I had asked the question to tell me her name was what she didn't like. According to her it was "boring and generic" whereas I thought it was unique and very pretty. When I told her my opinion she'd rolled her eyes and shook her head, so I knew it would irritate her if I used it now that we were challenging each other. I laughed as she bent down to pick up her bag and noticed the grimace on her face. Again.

I looked toward the direction she was facing and realized she was looking at her painting again.

"I really don't want that up there." She said stubbornly, crossing her arms.

"I suggest you write a caption underneath it for what it signifies or at least sign your name at the bottom, because that's going to be up there for a loooonggg time." I teased.

She looked at me and bit her lip, looking once more toward her artwork and then back at me. "Alright." I heard her mumble as she walked to it, taking out a pen from her bag. She took it down from the wall and walked to the small table in the room, turning the canvas over so she cold write in the back. My eyebrows scrunched together in confusion as I watched her bend down, deep in concentration.

This girl always seemed to surprise me, and that was one of the things I liked so much about her.

**B.P.O.V**

_What this painting means:_

_I feel like I can't get through the horrible past in my life. Most of the people and things I've loved, I've lost because of my decisions and actions. It's hard to wake up in the morning and know that I have a full day ahead of me, despite the tragedy I keep holding to myself. It's getting better though. It's getting much easier to take it day by day. And I think I have a very good idea why…_

I capped my pen and smiled as I looked down at what I wrote. It was a small portion of how I felt, and since I was sure Edward would make me do something like this again, I could turn back and see my own improvement.

I lifted my painting and put it back on the wall, turning to look at Edward. "Now I trust that you won't read what's behind that. I'm letting you keep that up but you have to promise that you won't touch it! It's very private."

He sighed and looked at me in an unsure way. "I don't know Bella. I might say that I won't look but since you accused me of being a liar…" he trailed off and I laughed.

"Edward!"

He chuckled. "Of course I promise not to look Bella." He said sincerely.

"Thank you."

As we both walked out together, I realized that it really was getting easier. I just hoped it got better than how it was now.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So sorry it's a day late! I was about to post it and thought it was too short. I only update once every other week so I think you guys deserve a long chapter! Well, hope you like this one! I know I really enjoyed writing this one! Please review friends!**

**Love,**

**Edward Is My Lullaby**


	7. Chapter 7:Learning Again

**DISCLAIMER: STEPHENIE MEYER OWNS ALL THINGS TWILIGHT!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 6: Learning Again<p>

**E.P.O.V**

I propped my elbows up on my desk and pinched the bridge of my nose, sighing in frustration. I had just written a five-page essay in the span of two hours.

_Two hours_ I had been sitting at my desk, analyzing a small paragraph, which, according to my psychology teacher, had so much information and intellect that a one-paper essay just wouldn't do. After studying it for so long, I'm sure I had memorized it well enough to recite to him if he'd asked me to. Not to mention I had one other paper to write for a different class, due tomorrow. Just thinking about being in my room for an additional two hours was enough to make me want to scream.

I groaned when I opened my eyes and looked at all my notes and drafts strewn about me. I knew becoming a psychological therapist would take hard work and patience, but sometimes it was a bit too overwhelming for me. Reading and analyzing other people's problems could sometimes feel like a lot to handle. Sometimes the stories I heard, or merely the things I read made me think about how hard it would be to give someone the right advice, let alone tell them how to deal with a certain situation. But again, if my father was able to do it then so could I.

I sighed again loudly as I began to pick up the mess around me. As I moved them to the side of my desk, a small paper fluttered out and dropped onto the floor. I picked it up, grinning when I saw the reminder written on it. It took me all but two seconds to get up and walk over to my bed where I had left my cell phone. I smiled lightly to myself as I began to dial, finally having something much better to do than homework.

**B.P.O.V**

I sighed as I watched the rain pour down lightly from outside my window. It wasn't raining as hard as it was last night, so the droplets fell peacefully, lightly onto the grass. How nice it would be to feel so weightless and carefree, if only for a second.

I took one final sip of my orange juice and poured it down the sink, setting the cup down to wash it later.

I winced and rubbed my thigh as I walked over to the couch, accidentally bumping into the small table I had beside it. I rolled my eyes at my clumsiness as I turned on the TV. My thigh was stinging slightly and I couldn't help but realize my coordination hadn't improved much since I was little.

I shook my head as memories of my childhood began to flood my mind, flipping the channels faster now just so I could find something interesting to watch quick. The only problem with my idea? There was _never _something on TV worth watching.

This was the problem with my weekends. I had _nothing_ to do_. _Homework wasn't even an option, because I buried myself in all things school related during the week. It kept me from thinking about things I didn't want to have to relive in my own head. Kept me from wallowing in my own pain. And going out with friends only worked if you had any to actually spend the day with. I mean, Angela could be a possibility but I still had the hesitation of calling and acting like we were best friends again. It just didn't feel right at the moment.

I growled lightly in frustration when I couldn't find anything that caught my attention, turning off the TV and getting off the couch. I stomped my way over to the kitchen in annoyance, particularly with myself, and opened my pantry to try and find the right ingredients to make a cake or brownies. To bake anything really! Just as long as I was doing _something_! I'm sure I wouldn't feel like eating whatever I baked in the end, but I could take them to my dad or Jake and I'm sure they'd be happy to take them off my hands.

"Flour, sugar…" I said to myself as I pushed things around to grab what I needed. I went through my mental list again, making sure I hadn't forgotten anything as I walked over to the refrigerator to grab the last of my ingredients.

"Craaaaappp." I groaned, as I was about to open the refrigerator door. I laid my forehead against the fridge and banged it lightly.

Eggs! That's what I'd forgotten! I'd been too lazy to go to the grocery store yesterday so my kitchen wasn't exactly stocked. And now I couldn't bake the damn cake!

"Well this bites." I groaned again as I walked over to the table to put everything away, much more annoyed than I was before. I took my time as I arranged everything back into its original place, sighing when I closed the pantry after I was finished. I walked over to my living room again and sat on the couch, refusing to turn on the TV.

I leaned against my couch and looked around my quiet, boring living room, hoping that a great idea would just come to me if I thought hard enough.

I bit my lip as I looked at my shoes, thinking about going to the grocery store now instead of staying in here all day. That way when I got home, I could bake the freakin cake and get all my groceries done once and for all. I sighed as I made up my mind and walked over to put them on. I grabbed my cell phone, keys, and umbrella before putting on my jacket to leave.

I closed my apartment door and began to walk toward the stairs. I glared at the rain as it fell, proving that my mood had only worsened from the time I woke up to now. Maybe I should just go back to bed and-

"Hi Bella!" A sudden voice said from behind me, jostling me out of my thoughts. I jumped at the sound, dropping my umbrella in the process and almost tripping down the first step. I regained my balance and spun around to see who it was, my breathing coming out in ragged breaths.

Allie was standing at the front of her door, her hand over her mouth to stifle her giggles. She gave me a sorry look but let out another laugh.

The glare on my face instantly softened and I couldn't help but let out a giggle of my own. I held my hand over my heart and glared playfully at her. "Allie! You scared me!"

She laughed again loudly and came over to give me a hug. "I'm so sorry! I really didn't mean to!"

I looked down at her in surprise as she hugged me, a warm feeling spreading throughout my body. I can't say I hadn't felt it before, but it seemed foreign to me. Like I hadn't felt it in such a long time.

"Apology accepted," I laughed back, my arms wrapping around her to return the hug. "What are you doing out here in the cold?" I asked as she pulled back, a shiver of my own passing through my body.

She grimaced. "My mom was supposed to take me to the park but it started drizzling before we left. She says it'll probably get worse once we get there and she doesn't like going out in the rain," She looked up at the sky as she talked and glared as drops of water continued to fall. "So I was just waiting outside to see if it would stop so she can take me." She sighed hopefully.

I nodded but grimaced slightly. Knowing this weather, the chances of the rain stopping once it started was very slight. Of course I wouldn't mention this to her. She already seemed so sad.

"I know the feeling. I don't like the rain sometimes too," I scrunched up my nose as if I'd smelled something funny and she smiled back at me sadly.

I bit my lip as she looked out at the rain again, my brain wracking to find some way to cheer her up. I didn't like seeing her all sad. "Ummm," I began slowly. "Well, I was actually heading to the park myself. I can take you if you'd like." I said before even thinking about it thoroughly. I really didn't mind taking her, I didn't want to get my groceries today, and hanging out with Allie seemed like a much better idea. My only concern was her mother. I hadn't even met her yet! And although she had seen me around the apartment building, I didn't think she'd feel comfortable letting her daughter out with a complete stranger.

"Yay!" Allie yelled out excitedly as she threw herself at me to give me another hug. "Thank you Bella!" She squealed out happily.

I laughed again and grabbed her shoulders as I pulled her back gently. "Now wait a minute missy. I still don't know if your mom will be ok with this, so why don't we go ask her first?"

She nodded rapidly with a grin on her face, grabbing my hand as she pulled me to her apartment door. She opened the door and all but ran inside, my hand still clasped tightly in hers.

"Momma!" Allie yelled out.

"Allie wait!" I whispered loudly, my eyes widening when I realized this was not the ideal way to meet her mother. I'd imagined it in a way where she _wouldn't_ call the cops on me for coming into her home without notice. My stomach clenched at the thought.

It was too late though. By the time I had started to even process what I was going to say, Allie's mother had already turned around. A blush spread out onto my cheeks as her eyes widened at the sight of me.

I gave her a sheepish smile and opened my mouth to explain what was happening when Allie beat me to it. "Bella says she can take me to the park for a little while if you're ok with it! But she said she had to meet you first before we could go. Can I please please pleassseee go, Mom?" She said all in one big breath. I laughed lightly as I looked down at her, my smile quickly fading when I looked up at her mom who was still looking at me like I was a creep.

Allie looked a lot like her actually. Light brown hair with hazel eyes that stood out against her pale skin. She was very pretty. I'm sure she was even prettier when she actually smiled, the exact opposite of what she was doing now.

"I'm so sorry for coming in uninvited," I began, my voice shaky. "I'm Bella Swan. I actually live right next door to you but I don't think we've ever officially met before."

"Savannah Richards." She replied, recognition now in her eyes. She extended her hand for me to shake and I felt myself relax a little.

"I met Allie a couple of weeks ago. I dropped my groceries and Allie was sweet enough to help me pick them up."

Mrs. Richards laughed lightly and nodded. "Yes, I recall her telling me about that. I'm glad she was able to be of help. My daughter has always been the helpful kind. No matter how many times I've told her not to speak to strangers." She looked down at her daughter and shook her head playfully as she stroked Allie's hair lovingly. I found myself staring at the two of them as Allie looked up at her with a sheepish smile.

I snapped out of it when they both turned to look at me again. "Umm, I just didn't know if you would be ok with me taking her to the park for a little while. I know we haven't met before and I'm sure you see me as a complete stranger but I promise I'll take care of her and bring her back home safely." I rambled nervously. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea…

She smiled at me and then down at Allie. "I don't see you as a _complete_ stranger. I've seen you around myself and although you usually keep to yourself I trust my daughter's judgment of other people, but," She bit her lip before continuing, her smile a little embarrassed. "I really hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I think we should all get to know each other a little bit better."

I shook my head in understanding and gave her a smile. "No, of course I understand. I'm sure any parent would feel the same way."

Allie looked up at her, her face surprised and sad. I looked down at Allie and smiled at her apologetically as she pouted. "I really wanted to hang out with Bella." She whispered, mostly to herself.

I looked up at her mom and bit my lip, not wanting her to be upset again. I shouldn't have suggested this in the first place.

She laughed lightly and looked down at her daughter again. "Which is why I was going to suggest that Bella go to the park with us tomorrow," She looked up at me again. "I would invite you to go with us today but her father just called and asked if he could come pick her up. So what do you say, would you like to join us tomorrow afternoon?"

Allie nodded her head quickly and looked at me with hopeful eyes.

I nodded back and a huge grin broke out onto her face. "Of course! I'd love to!" I laughed.

"Thank you Bella!" Allie squealed, clapping her hands happily.

I laughed again and then looked back up at her mom, who was smiling at the two of us.

"Alright missy!" She began, "Go pack anything you want to take to your dad's house. He'll be here any minute."

She nodded excitedly before giving me one more hug and ran off to her bedroom.

"Well I should get going," I excused myself. "I don't want to take up any more of your time Mrs. Richards. I'm sorry again about coming in without your permission. Thank you for inviting me tomorrow though."

"Oh don't worry about it hon, you just startled me is all. And you're very welcome. It was very nice meeting."

"Likewise. I'll see you tomorrow Allie!" I yelled out to her, already walking toward the door.

"Bye Bella!" She called.

I smiled as I walked outside, actually laughing lightly as I wiped away a drop of rain as it ran down my cheek. I shook my head at how well that had actually gone. Allie really knew how to brighten my day, something not much people had the ability to do. I was just very glad she was one of them…

I opened up my umbrella and went toward the main gate to start my small walk to the bus stop again. Just the thought brought back the grimace onto my face.

On my way there I passed my car, letting out a sigh and pouting slightly. If it weren't for my big clunk of a truck I could have gone to the store and bought everything with ease. But nooooo, I had to take the bus, walk in the rain, then carry an armful of things back to the bus stop, wait again, and finally walk back home probably soaking wet.

"Stupid," _kick_ "old," _kick_ "non-functioning," _kick_ "car!" I grumbled, taking out my frustration on my poor old car. I let out an annoyed sigh and stuck my tongue out at it as I started walking away.

I heard a chuckle from in front of me, but before I could even turn to look at the person who's laugh had startled me, I ended up running straight into them. A light squeal escaped my lips out of fear before I jumped back in alarm. I was even about to apologize when I heard the all too familiar voice. "Remind me to _never_ get on your bad side." He chuckled.

I looked up at him and a smile spread across my face involuntarily, his own grin plastered over his handsome face.

"Hey." I said lightly, surprised.

He chuckled again. "Seeing as how you almost beat it to death, I'm guessing you're truck isn't exactly in your good graces today." He joked.

"One of many things," I glared at him playfully. "What is it with everyone scaring me today?!" I smacked his arm playfully and put my hands on my hips.

He laughed and then smirked at me. "I didn't mean to scare you Bella, you just weren't paying attention to where you were going."

My jaw dropped in shock and then I laughed. "Yes, because you're the first person I would think of running into here. I'd say you were stalking me Edward." I smirked back.

"Guess you caught me." He winked. A blush spread onto my cheeks and I rolled my eyes playfully. He chuckled and shrugged, going on with the charade. "But I'm sorry. Maybe I should just come by another day to see if you have time so we can fix your car." He shrugged, walking past me and toward his own car, which I now realized wasn't parked too far from mine.

My eyes widened and, although I could see the playful smile playing on his lips, I called out excitedly, "You can fix my car today!"

He turned around and nodded, but then pouted playfully. "But I can go if you're angry with me."

I rolled my eyes again but grinned when I realized my car would finally be fixed! I could finally _drive _wherever I wanted!

"Ahh! Thank you Edward!" I replied, throwing myself at him to give him a hug. I suddenly felt like Allie and the way she kept hugging me earlier. It was a good feeling. "You are now allowed to stalk me all you want." I laughed.

He chuckled and wrapped his arms around me too. "You're very welcome." He whispered sweetly in my ear. "And I might have to take you up on that offer."

A shiver ran through my body as his warm breath blew across my neck and ear; I couldn't help but close my eyes and smile.

"Cold?" He asked, wrapping his arms tighter around me. Mistaking the way my body reacted to him to actually thinking I was chilly. Not that I minded…

I shyly laid my head on his shoulder and locked my hands together to bring them to his chest.

I breathed in his unique scent and then blew it out slowly, pulling away from him before it became too awkward.

"Sorry for going all crazy on you," I blushed. "I've just been really miserable without my car."

"Really? Because a couple minutes ago it seemed like you hated your car very much." He laughed.

I giggled myself and then smiled sheepishly. "You caught me in a moment of weakness. I was about to take a walk to the store since I didn't want to stay cooped up in my apartment all day," I admitted. "But I've been delaying buying groceries and other necessities because I've been too lazy to take the bus."

"Well I'm glad I decided to come by today then."

I nodded, agreeing and smiled again. "So is your friend coming by soon?" I asked impatiently.

He laughed, noticing my eagerness. "She'll be here in a couple of minutes to take a look at it."

"She?" I asked, surprised.

He nodded and smiled. "You actually met her already. It's my cousin Emmett's girlfriend. Rosalie doesn't look like the type of girl to be a real grease monkey, but she's great at it."

"Wow." I simply said, raising my eyebrows in surprise. He was right too; she looked more like a super model than a mechanic. But I guess that was just one of the things that made her stand out so much. _Another being the ability to intimidate anyone she looked at._ I thought.

"Here she is now." He said, wrapping an arm around my waist to move me out of the way as she pulled into the apartment's parking lot.

I heard him groan and looked up at Edward. "What?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose and glared at the car. "I'm guessing she didn't understand the part where I told her to come alone."

I looked back to where her impressively beautiful BMW convertible was parked and laughed when I saw Emmett, Alice, and Jasper getting out of the car too.

"Rosalie." Edward whined when she came close enough, causing her to roll her eyes.

"I tried to leave without an explanation but you know how the pixie gets when she doesn't get her way." She defended herself.

Edward groaned again silently beside me and I let out a laugh.

"Hello." Rosalie said to me when she finally came to stand in front of us.

"Uh, h-hi." I stuttered stupidly, a blush creeping onto my cheeks. Just the way she greeted me, short and simple, seemed to ooze with confidence. The exact opposite of what I had.

"You act like I'm going to rip your throat out if you don't tell me where you're going," Alice rolled her eyes, obviously hearing what Rosalie had said. "Hey Bella!" She waved, a sweet smile spreading across her face.

"Hey Alice. How are you?" I asked politely as she came over to hug me.

"Good. Just thought I'd tag along with Rose to see you."

I nodded and opened my mouth to respond when Emmett blocked her from my view and picked me up in another bone-crushing hug. "Bella Ella!" He yelled out with a loud guffaw.

With what little breath I had left, I gave a laugh and then breathed out, "Emmett, can't breathe." Although I had mostly been kidding when I said it to Jake, Emmett's hug had literally knocked the breath out of me.

"Emmett!" I heard Edward complain. "Put her down!"

He gave another laugh before setting me on my feet. "Sorry Little B, didn't mean to squeeze you so hard there."

I sucked in a much needed breath and laughed at his choice of nicknames. I shook my head. "No need to apologize Big E." I said back, causing a wide grin to spread across his face… dimples and all.

"Hello Bella," Jasper laughed as he held up his hands, as if surrendering. "No need to worry about me. I'll settle for a small hug." He said and kept through with his promise.

"So which car am I looking at today?" Rosalie asked, getting straight to the point. Looking around to try and figure out which one it was, I presumed.

"It's the umm, orange Chevrolet car parked near Edward's." I replied, pointing to it as I talked. I blushed furiously when I realized what a big piece of junk my car looked like compared to hers. I grimaced slightly and blushed before turning back to look at her, just in time to see a disgusted look on her face.

I laughed, embarrassed. "I'm sure you're probably wondering why I even want to get it fixed but, I love my car and would really appreciate it if you could get it to work again."

She shrugged. "I'll see what I can do." Not to jump to conclusions, but her words didn't exactly sound sincere…

**E.P.O.V**

I glared at Rosalie as she walked past Bella without giving her one last glance. She never acted mean with someone she'd just met for this long. She was usually guarded around them, but never rude.

I watched Bella's eyebrows come together in what looked like confusion, and then her eyes dropped to look at the ground. She wrapped her arms around herself and instead turned to talk to Emmett, who had called out her name from behind her. My anger only became stronger when I realized she thought she'd done something wrong. Here she was, trying to make friends like I'd told her she should after two years of being completely guarded, and Rosalie was acting like this.

I walked over to Rosalie just as she got to the truck. "Rose, when I asked you to do this favor for me you didn't really have to say yes." I whispered to her angrily as she lifted the hood of Bella's car.

She finished propping it up and then paused. "I know I didn't. But I did, so what's with the lecture?"

"What's with the attitude?" I replied back just as annoyed. "You've only met Bella _once_ and there's already something you don't like about her?"

She narrowed her eyes and smirked. "I didn't say that now did I?"

"Rosalie…" I sighed out, pinching the bridge of my nose.

She let out an exasperated sigh "Look, I promise I'll be…nice, ok? You know I'm like this whenever I meet someone new. It's just the way I am. Now do you want me to fix this thing for her, or not?"

I narrowed my eyes, knowing there was something she wasn't telling me, but let it go. I wanted to take up her offer even if it was a forced one. "Fine, thank you."

I just hoped that she went through with her promise.

**B.P.O.V**

"Emmett, that's not funny!" Alice yelled as she felt the water run down her back. I couldn't help but laugh at her expression and leaned against Rosalie's car with Jasper as I watched Alice chase Emmett around with her purse, swinging at him whenever she got close enough. He taunted her every time he missed, and the more he did it the angrier she became.

"What is going on here?" Edward chuckled lightly as he came to stand next to me. Jasper was dieing of laughter as Alice finally got close enough and clonked it on his head. Emmett winced as he rubbed where she'd hit him.

"Geez Alice, what the hell do you have in there? Rocks?!"

"Maybe." She sang, skipping over to Jasper happily. She sat on his lap and kissed him sweetly. The moment seemed personal, so I turned away and laughed lightly.

"Emmett had a water bottle so he poured some down Alice's back while she was talking to me." I explained. I turned to look at him when I realized he was already staring directly at me.

I blushed slightly but didn't move my eyes from his. I never really realized just how green and bright they were. The same warm feeling spread throughout my body like earlier, just much stronger. They were a beautiful, unique color…

I bit my lip and looked away, clearing my throat when he didn't say anything.

"Ohh uhh," He stuttered as he snapped out of whatever daydream he'd been in. "No wonder she was pissed. Alice hates it when we mess around with her clothes." he said, finally realizing I'd spoken.

"Which is why we should go to the mall when Rose is finished!" Alice clapped excitedly. She turned to look at Jasper who shook his head with a smile, and then kissed her on the forehead.

Edward groaned lightly beside me again and I giggled. "What?" I whispered to him.

"This is why I asked Rosalie to come alone. They're all like a bunch of little kids."

I laughed again. "It's fine Edward."

"No, it's not. Once Alice insists on going to the mall, it's almost a guarantee we'll go. First it starts with the pout and puppy dog eyes, which Jasper can't resist, and then he convinces everyone else to come along. Never fails. And if there's one thing you need to know about Alice, she's a shopping freak."

My eyes widened slightly at his use of words. "Well that sounds…intense."

"You have no idea." He mumbled.

"Ok, I'm all finished." Rosalie said as she walked toward us. She cleaned her hands on a dirty towel and walked over to Emmett who wrapped an arm around her waist.

"What was wrong with it grease monkey?" He asked, placing a kiss on her cheek.

"A couple of the cables were out of place, so I just had to connect them back to were they belonged," She shrugged, as if it was the easiest thing in the world. "It took me longer than I expected but it should work."

"Thank you so much Rosalie, I really appreciate it." My truck was finally fixed!

She gave me a forced smile and nodded. "Ya, no problem. I wouldn't be too excited though. Those cables look like they're ready to burn out in the next couple months."

My eyes widened at the new information but I quickly hid it. "Ohh, umm, thanks for telling me. That's good to know." Greaaattt…another thing to worry about it. Not to mention that I loved my truck, and now that I knew it would only last a couple more months really upset me.

"And there isn't something you can do now so they won't burn out later?" Edward asked, rubbing my back lightly.

I looked up in hope only to see her shake her head. "It's a pretty old model. Once the engine and cables burn out you're pretty much done for."

"It's fine. Thanks again for fixing it. I'll just have to look for a new car these next few months." She nodded and I let out a sigh, biting my lip.

"Aww come on Bells, don't be sad!" Alice said in front of me. I looked up and saw she was wearing a pout as she came over to give me a hug.

I laughed lightly and hugged her back. "I'm not. It's just a little frustrating to think about buying a new one."

"Well any of they boys can help you with that! Edward's literally in a relationship with his car." She teased.

He narrowed his eyes. "Says the one who actually named her Porsche."

"Ya ya," She replied as she waved around her hand dismissively. "Anywho, I'm sure they'll love to help you look. Rose even knows where to get the best deals."

"Ya, little B. You look like a monster truck type of girl to me." Emmett laughed.

I shook my head quickly and laughed. "No no. No monster trucks."

"Nah, I can picture her in a slugbug though." Jasper suggested, a hint of a southern accent creeping out into his voice.

I glared at him slightly. "That's even worse!" I yelled out as he began to laugh.

"Oh oh," Alice hopped excitedly. "She looks like she _loves_ to shop!"

We all stared at her for a couple of minutes, before everyone burst out laughing. Even Rosalie was shaking her head in amusement as she laughed.

"That was so freaking random, pixie." Emmett laughed out.

She giggled and shrugged. "I just really want to go to the mall!"

"When don't you Al?" Rosalie questioned, flipping her blonde hair back.

"Come on, please!"

Edward sighed again and I looked up. He rolled his eyes and I laughed. "Alice…" He trailed off.

"Please! It'll only be for a little while!" She pouted, looking up at him through her lashes.

Jasper's face suddenly softened. "Awww come on guys! She said it'll be quick!"

Edward looked down at me and grimaced. "Point proven." He whispered in my ear. I covered my mouth as I let out a laugh. "Fine Alice, we'll go, but only for an hour. I have homework to do." Edward sighed with a grimace.

She squealed quickly but then became serious. "Ok, one hour. That means I can only go to the small stores and go through them quick." She said, mostly to herself as she began to walk toward Rose's car.

I lifted my eyebrows in amusement and smiled. "Well I hope you all have fun. Thank you all for coming, and thanks again Rosalie." I replied, already walking with them.

"But Bella you have to come!" Alice said suddenly, spinning around to face me. She'd stopped so abruptly, I tripped when I tried to back up and avoid hitting her. Thankfully Edward was right behind me to grab my waist and steady me. I turned around to give him an appreciated look and he smiled crookedly, setting his arm around my waist loosely instead of letting go.

I turned back to Alice and grimaced slightly. "That's ok Alice, really. I don't like malls very much. I'm not a shopping type of girl."

She gasped and dropped her jaw lower than I thought possible. "YOU DON'T LIKE SHOPPING!?" She yelled out loudly.

I winced and shrunk back. "Uh no, not really?" I whispered this time, my statement now sounding more like question.

She shook her head. "Nope. You are definitely coming with us missy. I will show you the art of shopping, and once you've gone with me, you'll _love it_." She said, determined.

"Now you've done it." Edward chuckled in my ear.

She grabbed my arm and pulled me away from Edward and over to her car, literally forcing me into it before getting in and driving to what I saw as a jailhouse. I couldn't exactly say I was excited for what was about to come.

**E.P.O.V**

I chuckled as I watched Alice drag Bella around to different stores. She'd shove her into the dressing room with an armful of clothing, decide which ones she'd like best and then run over to pay so they could move on.

"Help me." Bella whispered to me pleadingly as Alice pulled her over to their next raid.

I shook my head laughing, and followed over to where they had gone.

"…pay for all of this Alice! This is THIRTY-FIVE dollars! For one shirt!" I heard Bella say as I neared them, just in time to see Alice roll her eyes.

"A very nice shirt! And don't worry about it! I've been paying for whatever you left behind anyway! Don't think I didn't see you put most of the stuff I approved of back where they were Bella!" Alice glared accusingly, wagging her finger as if she were chastising Bella for doing something wrong.

Bella's eyes widened and she gaped. "You did what?!"

"You are being very dramatic."

Bella glared. "Alice, this is ridiculous. This is more than enough and I'm not ok with you buying all of this for me," She said exasperatedly. She turned her head and saw me looking at her, her hand gesturing to point to me. "Edward! Please tell you're cousin to _stop_ buying me all this stuff!"

I laughed lightly before walking over to where they were standing. "Alice, maybe you should tone it down a bit." I suggested.

Alice pursed her lips for a moment and then sighed, annoyed. "Fine."

"Thank y-" Bella began, looking relieved.

"_If_," Alice interrupted, holding up a finger to stop her."You try on one more thing and let me buy it for you. No whining."

Bella looked at her blankly, gritting her teeth. "Deal." She grumbled, stomping away from Alice and I.

Alice giggled from beside me and I looked down at her. "What?"

She shrugged and then smiled widely. "I like her." She said simply, before walking after Bella.

I chuckled and then smiled. "I do too." I whispered to myself, even though in the back of my mind I knew that my feelings were much more different than Alice's.

**B.P.O.V**

I sighed as Alice closed me back up in a dressing room, grimacing when I realized she'd brought me a dress. A very short dress…

"There is no way this is going to look right on me." I called out, refusing to even touch it.

"Yes it will Bella. Just _trust _me." She called back.

And for some unknown weird reason, I did. I did trust her. It was such a common word to say to anyone, especially when it came to simple things like this. But with Alice, it meant so much more than just a person I'd only met twice encouraging me to try on a dress. It really felt like a gut feeling.

"Ok." I whispered, grabbing the dress to try it on.

After zipping it up I let out a breath and turned around to look at myself in the mirror, smiling when I saw my reflection.

The dress was actually very pretty. It was a midnight blue color, with a deep V on the back, stopping right at my mid-back. It was beautifully embroidered in the front, signed lightly at my waist before the skirt flowed out nicely above my knees.

"Finished?" Alice asked from outside my stall.

"Ya." I replied, opening the door.

"Oh my…" I heard Alice whisper, her mouth slightly open. "Bella you look amazing!" She yelled out, clapping her hands together excitedly.

Rosalie was even raising an eyebrow in surprise. "Wow." She said, although the dress she was trying on made her look like a model ready to walk on the runway.

"I have to get this for you!" Alice yelled out, breaking me from my trance.

I bit my lip. "Are you sure? It's not too much, is it?"

She shook her head quickly. "Of course not. You look absolutely amazing. It's for Edward's birthday party, so this is exactly right!"

His birthday party…I had completely forgotten about that. "When is that by the way?" I asked, as she gestured for me to turn so she could look at the back.

"Three weeks from today," She nodded when she approved and then raised an eyebrow at me. "Which you'll be able to go to, right?"

I nodded. "Yes of course. I'm glad I was able to find a dress then."

"Good. Cus you're the only reason I'm able to even throw him a birthday party. Edward would definitely flip if you didn't go."

I laughed. "That I know."

"Ok, you can take it off and I'll go pay for it. We'll be waiting for you outside of the store."

As soon as I was finished getting dressed I walked out of the changing rooms, only to be met with Edward leaning against the wall.

He smiled crookedly at me before pushing off the wall and walking toward me. I blushed and looked down, meeting him halfway.

"All finished?" He asked sweetly.

"Mhmm, Alice bought me a real nice dress."

"I'm glad you two could compromise." He chuckled.

I looked up as we began to walk, a pair of glaring eyes looking my way. My eyes scrunched together in confusion until the girl looked next to me. Her eyes immediately softened and I laughed, although a small portion of me was very jealous. Why? I didn't really know.

"What's so funny?" Edward asked, bumping my shoulder lightly.

"Do you know that girl over there? To our right?" I whispered, thrusting my chin up quickly in her direction

He glanced over and shook his head. "No, why?"

"Well she seems to keep staring at you. She's not very happy you're walking with me." I giggled.

He looked again in her direction at the same exact time she glanced over to him again. Her cheeks turned a light pink when she noticed he was staring back, her eyes now fluttering in, what I assumed was supposed to be, a flirtatious way.

"Uhh ya. The feeling is not reciprocated."

I raised my eyebrows. "Really? She's actually very pretty."

"Mmm. I've seen way better." He replied, staring down at me in an almost smoldering way. Just the way he was looking at me, plus his crooked grin, made my heart flutter. I couldn't help but wish his words had more meaning. That I might be the 'way better' he was talking about. Then again, maybe it was better that I wasn't…

"I see." I said simply.

"Hey! So Emmett and Jazz were kind enough to take all of our stuff to the car so we don't lug them around everywhere. I think we should just grab a quick bite to eat and then we can head out."

"Sounds good." Rose agreed, already leading the way toward the food court area.

"This is on me guys!" I yelled out once we arrived.

"Bella you don't have to-" Edward began.

"Nope! Alice bought me more clothes than I can fit in my closet, Rosalie fixed up my car, and you were kind enough to ask her to fix it for me. I like Emmett and Jasper, so I want to buy lunch for all of us. We should just pick something to eat and we're set. It's the least I can do…for now."

"Thank you," Alice laughed, followed by everyone else. "I guess this is kind of the pay back, huh?."

"Oh, you have no idea." I smirked.

"Awww you already like us Little B? Edward almost never introduces us to his friends cus he thinks we'll scare them off." Emmett scoffed.

I laughed and nodded.

"I don't think, I know." Emmett mumbled beside me.

I only shook my head and giggled at their bantering.

Once everyone had gotten their food, we made out way over to a table we'd all fit in. I had set my plate down and was about to sit when someone suddenly called my name behind me. I turned to look and couldn't help the grin that spread over my face.

"Excuse me." I said to everyone before speed walking over to where Jacob was.

"Hey!" I replied, standing on my tiptoes to give him a hug. I'd only been a week since I'd last seen him, but now that we were on good terms, a week seemed to feel like forever. Two years without communication with someone you cared deeply about was enough to do this to you.

"Hey Bells. I'm actually really surprised to see you here." He pulled back, giving me a deep chuckle.

I shrugged. "Ya, I'm umm, I'm here with some…friends." I smiled. It felt good to say that.

"Uhu. So these are the people you're always ditching me for?" He pouted playfully.

"Ditching you for?! Jake I haven't talked to you since the last time I saw you!" I laughed.

"Ahhh, there's the point I was trying to prove. You were supposed to call me remember? Never heard back from you after last week and I got worried." He sighed.

"Aww Jake, I really didn't do that on purpose. I've just had a lot on my mind, and then my car broke down about two weeks ago and-"

"Bella, it broke down to weeks ago and you're telling me now? You know I can go over and fix that for you with ease."

I gave him a sheepish smile and bit my lip. "Well I actually got it fixed today. I kinda, uh, forgot that you're sort of going to school to be a mechanic."

He gasped in a breath and widened his eyes. He shook his head and put a hand over his heart. "And you just keep breaking my weak little heart, don't you?."

I rolled my eyes at his dramatics but couldn't help but laugh. "There's nothing 'weak' about you Jake. Besides, I'm not the one who holds that type of power on you. Which is why, to make it up to you, we should go out to dinner this weekend so I can finally meet the woman who _does _hold your heart."

He laughed, but I still saw his cheeks tinge pink a little. "That was _very_ cheesy Bells."

"But you know it's true," I sang out to him. "Have you even told her by the way?"

"Nooo I have not, but I was getting to that. The reason I had been waiting for you to call me was so I can invite you on a little trip next weekend. Billy, your dad, Shauna, and I thought it would be fun to go to LA. Soak in some sun and get away from here for a little bit. I'm already coming up with some…ideas as to how I can tell Shauna while we're there. Go to a beach or something. She's been dying to go to Disneyland for a while so that's even a possibility." He shrugged.

"Jacob that sounds absolutely great, but I don't know if I should go." I sighed.

"Why not? It's the weekend and it's only for two days. We'll leave Friday night and then get home Sunday night."

"And my dad is on board for this?" I asked, surprised.

"Ya, work has been stressful lately and he just wants to get away for a while. Go fishing with Billy or something."

I nodded. "Umm, I'll tell you what. I'll think about it and let you know by tomorrow night. Deal?"

"Fine, but please just really think about it before saying no. It'd be nice to go on a little mini vacation."

"It would be." I mumbled.

He laughed suddenly as I looked back up at him again. "Ok, I think I should let you go. I don't think you're friend appreciates me taking you away."

I followed were he was looking and noticed Edward staring at us curiously, his eyes slightly narrowed as he looked at Jacob. I laughed as I turned back to look at him. "Ya, I think I should go too. We're all supposed to be eating and I'm being rude."

"Alright Bells," He sighed, giving me a hug again. "Don't forget to call me about you're decision. I hope you decide to go, it'll be a lot of fun."

I pulled back and smiled. "I know. I promise I wont forget."

I just hoped I wasn't too much of a chicken when the time came to really decide. I'd felt so different all throughout today. I felt…happy and so carefree, just like the raindrops I'd seen earlier today, the ones I wished I could feel like. It was a very big improvement and a goal that I'd never thought I'd reach.

And just when I wanted to give up and go to bed this morning, to wallow like I always did, I had people now that could definitely help me through that, people that were teaching me how to be happy again. I was finally learning how to be me again…

**E.P.O.V**

"Edward man, they're just talking." Jasper laughed beside me.

I took my eyes away from Bella and whoever the guy she was talking to was, and looked at him. "I know."

"So then stop shooting daggers his way. It's kind of creepy." Alice replied as she took a bite of her pizza.

"That's not what I'm doing."

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Ya sure. Can you at least stop looking at them then? They already noticed you're looking over there, so they're laughing."

I glared at her, before setting looking down at my slice of pizza.

"I think Eddie here has a little crush on Little B over there." Emmett chirped. He wiggled his eyebrows as I looked up at him. I glared again as he began to chuckle, scarfing down his last slice of pizza.

"Sorry about that. I didn't mean to be rude." Bella apologized. She sat down next to me and gave me beautiful smile.

_How right you are Emmett._ I thought to myself, sighing before I began to eat with everyone else.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Omg things are starting to become different! Bella is becoming so much happier! And guess what….you all get to FINALLY find out what happened to her next chapter! :D Anyway, I owe you all a very very big apology, and I know you've all heard this before but, I was really busy and couldn't get to writing. Which is why this is literally the longest chapter I have ever written! It's a late-Thanksgiving present for all you! Well please review and forgive me!**

**Love,**

**Edward Is My Lullaby**


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